Submitted by BenBen The Fisherman on February 3, 2012

Submitted by MJDunn on February 3, 2012

I get into a car accident. My car is totaled, my day is ruined, and my insurance premium is going up. I am upset at myself, I’m angry at the world, and I’m not on speaking terms with God for a while.

Then they line up, the friends who want to cheer me up, the spiritual leaders who know better: You know what my friend… No need to be upset… No need to be depressed… Everything happens for A reason!!!

The first thought that crosses my mind is, where is your compassion? Where is your sympathy? Do you think I need to hear that I’m suffering for a reason? I’m Suffering!

The second thought that jumps up my brain is: Oh, yeah. Obviously everything happens for a reason. The reason I got into a car accident is so that my car should be wrecked. The reason my day is ruined is so I don’t accomplish any of the things that I need to do today. The reason my insurance is going up is so I can have less money to buy food for my kids. How does that help me?

Knowing that there is a reason for everything that happens doesn’t take a genius to figure out, certainly there was no need to enlighten me that every event has a consequence. What if there is The Reason behind every event?

So, if everything happens for The reason, not just A reason. And The reason is God’s master plan for his universe, then what am I to do with my predicament?

God created the physical world so that humans can transform it and elevate it to a spiritual state. We have the power to experience people, places and things in a Godly way, thus changing their composition from merely physical to a new spiritual dimension. The only reason bad things happen to us, is because we are challenged to elevate that situation from the annoying (to humans) to the pleasurable (to God).

In other words “Everything happens for a reason” are not words of consolation, but a call to action. If I got into a car accident it is because there is something that I can do in that situation that can make a difference in God’s master plan for his universe. It’s up to me to figure it out. It’s up to me to make it worth it. It’s up to me to take action, and walk the talk. It is up to me to understand “The Reason” and take action.

Submitted by CaimanHunter on February 3, 2012

I was thinking that it’s been a little while since I’ve written, and there really hasn’t been much “recovery” going on with me lately, so I wasn’t really sure that I had anything to write about at all. Then a funny thing happened: my wife wished me a “Happy 27 Years Clean, Bam!” And then it hit me. Everything that’s gone on since I last wrote really is all about recovery.

Lemme ‘splain: When I was using, like everyone else I know, I used any excuse to get loaded; it was raining, it was sunny, I failed at something, I aced something. Hell, I used if you failed or aced something!

So, this is how my last few months have gone:

We went to visit relatives for Thanksgiving. Actually, we added the visit to the relatives to explain the other thing that we were doing. Y’see, we planned a trip around a UNC football game in Blacksburg, Virginia, followed 5 days later by a UNC basketball game at the Dean Dome. Then we added a visit to my cousin, my sister-in-law and an aunt, in various places around North Carolina.

Then we headed to New York for Thanksgiving with my wife’s mother-in-law. And on the way home we stopped at the Crayola Factory in Pennsylvania and the Safari Park in Virginia for my daughter (and her mother!).

Then, what should have been a quiet, relaxing ride back to Austin, was anything but. We made it to Alabama just in time for the traffic heading home from the Alabama-Auburn football game; and it was dark and rainy. Then in the stop and go of I-20 traffic we get rear ended by a kid in a big pick-up truck.

Thankfully, he told me and the investigating officer the two things you probably should not be telling the other party and the investigating officer: “I’m so sorry. I know it’s my fault. I had just told my mom I was 20 miles further down the road and was just trying to hurry up and get there because I was with my girlfriend, who my mother doesn’t like.”

Everyone was relatively all right, for being in an accident; and we drove home, only to be told by our insurance that the truck is totaled and we can’t drive it anymore because it can’t be insured. Then fighting to get a check from the insurance company, so that we could make a down payment on a new truck; and making appointments to see doctors and chiropractors and lawyers. Oh, my.

After a few weeks of hassle, we decided to go to Shreveport for the UNC Bowl game, to relax a little. We end up spending enough time and money on the tables that we got our room and food “comped” for the whole weekend.

And once we get home, we get a call from the Sheriff’s office that our neighbors are once again complaining that we aren’t feeding our horses. Don’t you just wish people who have no idea what they’re talking about would just shut the hell up and drop dead!

In case you’re worried, there’s nothing wrong with the horses – in fact, the vet was out this week and gave them a new Coggins, updated their vaccinations and deworming meds, and gave them a clean bill of health.

And then it’s New Years Eve and New Years Day and I’m another year “clean.”
So, as I look back on all of the things that have happened, all at the same time, I can’t help but think that any one of those little things, all by themselves, would have been enough to get loaded over in years past. Yet, here I am, having lived through them all, in just 2 short months, and I’m celebrating another year clean. Not for nothin’, but that really is recovery.

I love this program.

Submitted by RoxanneB on February 3, 2012

Author Roxanne C. Fredd is 12 years clean from all dope and alcohol. What has she done while clean? She has combined an urban style novel along with a recovery-based theme to create her fictional novel, IF THE DRUGS DON’T GET U THE LIFESTYLE WILL. All of her years clean gives her the right or, should I say, expert qualifications to talk of sick behaviors inside her book. Her book allows the reader a look at the beginning and the end of the ‘get high’ road. She thanks God daily for removing active addiction. This urban story will grab readers’ attention with the intensity of the street life! They will also receive seeds of recovery as they learn how to get away from the perils of drug abuse and the violence that is prevalent on the streets.

Finally, there is a book to answer the questions about addiction. Yes the questions that many people are afraid to ask, however, they do need to know… What is Addiction and how do I know if I have it Drug abuse Fiction. A chilling story of sex, drugs and prison…

Buy The Book Here: http://www.amazon.com/Drugs-Dont-Get-Lifestyle-Will/dp/0615346006

Submitted by BenBen The Fisherman on January 27, 2012

Submitted by SassySoberGirl on January 27, 2012

If you’ve ever been to an “anonymous type” meeting, you’ve probably heard about this strange word called acceptance.  Dictionary.com defines as “the act of taking or receiving something offered. favorable reception; approval; favor. the act of assenting or believing.” At meetings all over the universe tonight, I imagine wise folks with many years mouthing the word “acceptance” when someone flops a problem down on the recovery table.

That being said, acceptance appears to be gulp … “taking it” with “a favorable reception” and “believing it to be true”. Holy shitcakes. This means that when I have difficulties (as most of us do of course) I’m to not only buy it but be glad to do so?? What the hell does that mean? That there is some rhyme or reason to all this madness? That if I keep putting one foot in front of the other that there will be a purpose or knowledge gleaned or some kind of courage found that wasn’t there before? That maybe just maybe what doesn’t kill us … yeah that phrase.

Maybe there’s not a reason. It could be that life is life. That fairness doesn’t exist and there’s no grand justice or big daddy in the sky that keeps a tally. I don’t know. Don’t have that answer. What I do know is that I can remember. Remember who I really, truly am … way down deep … when the shit hits the fan. Full of honesty, courage, strength, truth, fortitude, willingness … yeah the stuff I dig.

So perhaps the whole acceptance thing is like military issue glasses. Not much for looks or bling or even pizazz but brings some serious clarity in Buddy Holly frames. What’s the nitty gritty of the “work” that we do in recovery? Gettin on with the gettin on … the “no matter what” of it all. Grit your teeth and accept it. Some of us even do it with some grace and style. Personally I’m still a bit teenager-ish about it, the tantrums lessen every month or so and hissy fits become funny.

“And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation — some fact of my life — unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. ” (pg. 417 BB 4th ed.)

Accept the things I cannot change … (serenity prayers worldwide)

“Take it” … “with favorable reception” … “and believe”. And whom or what you believe to be a power greater than you… (mine is a room full of drunks) they still continue to laugh at me as I look over top of my glasses with eye rolls and middle fingers. They accept me with all my flaws and tantrums and silliness that comes from thinking that I’m more important than I really am. They accept me with open arms and the knowledge that we share the same flawed perceptions peppered with humor. THEY YOU accept me… who the hell am I not to accept myself?

And as I continue to look over those ‘glasses’… when I decide to finally look through them again, life seems more than half full. Optimism through a reality strainer. Accepting that everything is as it should be at this very moment… it’s MY eyes that are the problem. Myopia and astigmatism in the guise of pessimistic belligerence. My prescription? A healthy dose… of acceptance.

Submitted by MrClean on January 27, 2012

Dear username,

When I first got into recovery back in the early 80’s, there was a new medical “syndrome” that was discovered. This syndrome, a virus, was making my friends very ill, and later just about all of them that were diagnosed, later died. This was the beginning of the HIV/AIDS crisis. People didn’t know anything about it other than it was affecting homosexuals, hemophiliacs, and heroin addicts, and my friends in recovery were dropping like flies. We later found out that much like the disease of addiction, this disease also didn’t discriminate to any race, creed, religion, or sexual preference.

This was a very scary time for me as a recovering intravenous drug addict and watching my newly made, but very close friends die from this mysterious disease. I have to admit that I didn’t even want to get tested for HIV because I was so afraid that I probably had the virus. I finally took the test and thankfully, it wasn’t positive, but in the back of my mind I still thought that I might come down with “the virus” after a while. We heard back then that it would lie dormant for over a decade. I still remember all the wonderful souls that died a horrible death from AIDS.

Today things are different. I have many dear friends and even a couple of sponsees that are HIV positive. They are living clean and healthy lifestyles and their prognosis for continued good health is excellent. The reason for this is that there have been significant medical breakthroughs in the treatment this disease and all the new medications that were once too expensive to afford, are now readily available. There’s also been a definitive difference in the overall perception of HIV/AIDS in general.

ITR just met with a wonderful new sponsor that caters to the HIV/AIDS community and we wanted to do everything possible to support them. You’ve probably seen the AHF Pharmacy banner ad on our homepage. We’d like to reach not only all of our members with HIV, but we’d like to reach their friends and family as well.

Whether or not you’re interested in AHF Pharmacy as a resource for discounted and sometimes FREE medication, we have a group on our site where members can support each other who are living in recovery with HIV/AIDS. If you have HIV/AIDS, please join the group (which is in DIRE need of support) and be there for your fellow brothers and sisters in recovery.

Join the group here: HIV / AIDS Group on InTheRooms

Thanks and with Love,
MrClean (Kenny P.) and the InTheRooms Team

Submitted by TheDotMack on January 27, 2012

We made a mistake. We’ve been emailing you too much. A lot of members have complained to us since we started sending out emails for the LIVE Video Meetings, that we’ve been flooding their inbox with notifications. We are truly sorry and offer our deepest amends to you all in the spirit of recovery.

We’ve stopped sending those emails out to everyone and are only going to send them to you if you want them.

Click here to adjust your email settings and turn on the Meeting Reminder emails if you still want to receive them.

So then we thought, what would be the best way to keep our community informed of the meeting schedule?

We decided to condense all the important information into a single email, a “daily digest” if you will. The Daily Meditation email now includes the LIVE Video Meeting schedule for the day. We also are including the day’s anniversaries so you can congratulate your brothers and sisters in the community for staying in recovery one day at a time for a lot of days in a row. :)

Thank you so much for being a part of our community.

Love,
TheDotMack and The InTheRooms Team

P.S.: Watch out for some big exciting changes to InTheRooms in the coming weeks… :)

Submitted by BenBen The Fisherman on January 20, 2012

Submitted by JoyceL on January 20, 2012

A friend was telling me yesterday about one of her dear friends, a man who has been sober for two years now, who fell off the wagon. Life caught up with him, too much shit was going on, and he said “f*ck it.” I know the feeling. I have relapsed many, many times. The first time I tried getting sober, I stayed sober for seven months and white knuckled it the whole time. This was because I had clung to the idea the entire seven months that I could learn to drink moderately. My partner at the time was persuaded by my success with sobriety and acceded to my commencing drinking again. It was a mistake.

There were other periods of attempted sobriety over the course of my twenty-nine-year drinking career, but the second serious time I tried to get sober, it was because I’d scared myself. I drank so much so quickly that I was yabbering away on my bar stool one moment, and a second later, my eyes rolled back in my head. I fell off the bar stool and to the floor, slamming my head in the process, and lay unconscious for a few more seconds. When I came to, I started puking my guts up. People swarmed around me, saying things; a friend pulled me to my feet and drag-walked me to the restroom to clean me up. An ambulance arrived. The EMTs couldn’t believe that alcohol was the only thing in my system–there had to be something else. There was nothing. Nothing but booze. I was rushed off the hospital with alcohol poisoning, or, as my official diagnosis read: “acute alcohol intoxication.”

Pretty “cute,” all right.

It was horribly embarrassing. I was grateful the bar wasn’t one I frequented, so only the couple people who were with me would know that fool had been me. The ER nurse suggested tartly that I “learn to change my habits.” The cop taking the report was kind: “Too much to drink, huh?” A baffled, “I guess so,” from me. I felt like crap for three whole days after that. The bill for the ER and the ambulance set me back two thousand bucks.

I stayed sober for three months, but since fear was the only thing keeping me sober, I went right back out.

And here’s the thing. Fear isn’t enough. A nagging spouse isn’t enough. Nothing is enough to keep you sober until it’s YOU who wants to be, and stay, sober. Until you give in to the fact that you are just one of those persons who can’t drink, that alcohol does bizarre shit to you, and that you can NEVER drink, you will be doomed to one day pick the stuff up again.

The next step is: how to maintain this frame of mind for two, five, ten, twenty years, the rest of your life?

Some people keep a list of all the awful things that ever happened to them when they were drinking. If tempted to drink, they review that list. That reminds them why they decided to get sober in the first place. (After a few years, it can be easy to forget, especially since the addict in our brain is very good at reminding us of all the “fun” we had when we drank.)

For me personally, it’s having a solid spiritual program that keeps me sober. My spirituality now drips over into virtually all aspects of my life: I meditate, I pray, I teach (helping others aligns with my spiritual program), I write and paint and play guitar (creativity aligns with my spiritual program). Basically every waking moment, I breathe and exude my own spirituality in some form or another. Bidden or unbidden, God is always present. With significance attached to every action, every moment is imbued with meaning. Drinking is irrelevant. Drinking is a huge interruption. Drinking is a backslide.

Problems become a spiritual challenge: I meditate, I think, I pray: “Show me. What shall I do? What should I do? Is it true? Is it right? Is it kind? What am I meant to learn from this? How can I turn this into something good?” And so on. There is no time for drinking. Escape is not the answer. I try to embrace problems. I have faith that, no matter what, I will grow. I know that painful emotions will not kill me. They are, after all, only feelings. Ride the wave; I simply must experience those rough feelings and see them through.

Some people are so embarrassed after a relapse that they are too humiliated to show their faces at their old AA meetings again, ashamed to sigh and say, “Hi, I’m Joe, I’m an alcoholic,” when the meeting chair asks who is present who’s been sober under 30 days. Hey, you can’t save your butt and save face at the same time. ‘Fess up. You’ll feel better. Your fellow AAers tend to not judge relapses because we’ve all been there. Your sponsor will help you identify the causes of your relapse and help you come up with a plan for staving the next one off. It’s not the end of the world; learn from your mistakes. Progress, after all; not perfection.

Brush off your jeans and hop back in the saddle. Welcome back.