InTheRooms Newsletter

ITR Cartoon: Mop

admin — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 19:05:36 +0000

Submitted by BenBen The Fisherman on February 3, 2012

The Reason

admin — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 19:04:17 +0000

Submitted by MJDunn on February 3, 2012

I get into a car accident. My car is totaled, my day is ruined, and my insurance premium is going up. I am upset at myself, I’m angry at the world, and I’m not on speaking terms with God for a while.

Then they line up, the friends who want to cheer me up, the spiritual leaders who know better: You know what my friend… No need to be upset… No need to be depressed… Everything happens for A reason!!!

The first thought that crosses my mind is, where is your compassion? Where is your sympathy? Do you think I need to hear that I’m suffering for a reason? I’m Suffering!

The second thought that jumps up my brain is: Oh, yeah. Obviously everything happens for a reason. The reason I got into a car accident is so that my car should be wrecked. The reason my day is ruined is so I don’t accomplish any of the things that I need to do today. The reason my insurance is going up is so I can have less money to buy food for my kids. How does that help me?

Knowing that there is a reason for everything that happens doesn’t take a genius to figure out, certainly there was no need to enlighten me that every event has a consequence. What if there is The Reason behind every event?

So, if everything happens for The reason, not just A reason. And The reason is God’s master plan for his universe, then what am I to do with my predicament?

God created the physical world so that humans can transform it and elevate it to a spiritual state. We have the power to experience people, places and things in a Godly way, thus changing their composition from merely physical to a new spiritual dimension. The only reason bad things happen to us, is because we are challenged to elevate that situation from the annoying (to humans) to the pleasurable (to God).

In other words “Everything happens for a reason” are not words of consolation, but a call to action. If I got into a car accident it is because there is something that I can do in that situation that can make a difference in God’s master plan for his universe. It’s up to me to figure it out. It’s up to me to make it worth it. It’s up to me to take action, and walk the talk. It is up to me to understand “The Reason” and take action.

Recovery is in Everything

admin — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 19:03:28 +0000

Submitted by CaimanHunter on February 3, 2012

I was thinking that it’s been a little while since I’ve written, and there really hasn’t been much “recovery” going on with me lately, so I wasn’t really sure that I had anything to write about at all. Then a funny thing happened: my wife wished me a “Happy 27 Years Clean, Bam!” And then it hit me. Everything that’s gone on since I last wrote really is all about recovery.

Lemme ‘splain: When I was using, like everyone else I know, I used any excuse to get loaded; it was raining, it was sunny, I failed at something, I aced something. Hell, I used if you failed or aced something!

So, this is how my last few months have gone:

We went to visit relatives for Thanksgiving. Actually, we added the visit to the relatives to explain the other thing that we were doing. Y’see, we planned a trip around a UNC football game in Blacksburg, Virginia, followed 5 days later by a UNC basketball game at the Dean Dome. Then we added a visit to my cousin, my sister-in-law and an aunt, in various places around North Carolina.

Then we headed to New York for Thanksgiving with my wife’s mother-in-law. And on the way home we stopped at the Crayola Factory in Pennsylvania and the Safari Park in Virginia for my daughter (and her mother!).

Then, what should have been a quiet, relaxing ride back to Austin, was anything but. We made it to Alabama just in time for the traffic heading home from the Alabama-Auburn football game; and it was dark and rainy. Then in the stop and go of I-20 traffic we get rear ended by a kid in a big pick-up truck.

Thankfully, he told me and the investigating officer the two things you probably should not be telling the other party and the investigating officer: “I’m so sorry. I know it’s my fault. I had just told my mom I was 20 miles further down the road and was just trying to hurry up and get there because I was with my girlfriend, who my mother doesn’t like.”

Everyone was relatively all right, for being in an accident; and we drove home, only to be told by our insurance that the truck is totaled and we can’t drive it anymore because it can’t be insured. Then fighting to get a check from the insurance company, so that we could make a down payment on a new truck; and making appointments to see doctors and chiropractors and lawyers. Oh, my.

After a few weeks of hassle, we decided to go to Shreveport for the UNC Bowl game, to relax a little. We end up spending enough time and money on the tables that we got our room and food “comped” for the whole weekend.

And once we get home, we get a call from the Sheriff’s office that our neighbors are once again complaining that we aren’t feeding our horses. Don’t you just wish people who have no idea what they’re talking about would just shut the hell up and drop dead!

In case you’re worried, there’s nothing wrong with the horses – in fact, the vet was out this week and gave them a new Coggins, updated their vaccinations and deworming meds, and gave them a clean bill of health.

And then it’s New Years Eve and New Years Day and I’m another year “clean.”
So, as I look back on all of the things that have happened, all at the same time, I can’t help but think that any one of those little things, all by themselves, would have been enough to get loaded over in years past. Yet, here I am, having lived through them all, in just 2 short months, and I’m celebrating another year clean. Not for nothin’, but that really is recovery.

I love this program.

If The Drugs Don’t Get U, The Lifestyle Will

admin — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 19:02:19 +0000

Submitted by RoxanneB on February 3, 2012

Author Roxanne C. Fredd is 12 years clean from all dope and alcohol. What has she done while clean? She has combined an urban style novel along with a recovery-based theme to create her fictional novel, IF THE DRUGS DON’T GET U THE LIFESTYLE WILL. All of her years clean gives her the right or, should I say, expert qualifications to talk of sick behaviors inside her book. Her book allows the reader a look at the beginning and the end of the ‘get high’ road. She thanks God daily for removing active addiction. This urban story will grab readers’ attention with the intensity of the street life! They will also receive seeds of recovery as they learn how to get away from the perils of drug abuse and the violence that is prevalent on the streets.

Finally, there is a book to answer the questions about addiction. Yes the questions that many people are afraid to ask, however, they do need to know… What is Addiction and how do I know if I have it Drug abuse Fiction. A chilling story of sex, drugs and prison…

Buy The Book Here: http://www.amazon.com/Drugs-Dont-Get-Lifestyle-Will/dp/0615346006

ITR Cartoon: Gossip

admin — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 20:49:51 +0000

Submitted by BenBen The Fisherman on January 27, 2012

Accept

admin — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 20:48:46 +0000

Submitted by SassySoberGirl on January 27, 2012

If you’ve ever been to an “anonymous type” meeting, you’ve probably heard about this strange word called acceptance. Dictionary.com defines as “the act of taking or receiving something offered. favorable reception; approval; favor. the act of assenting or believing.” At meetings all over the universe tonight, I imagine wise folks with many years mouthing the word “acceptance” when someone flops a problem down on the recovery table.

That being said, acceptance appears to be gulp … “taking it” with “a favorable reception” and “believing it to be true”. Holy shitcakes. This means that when I have difficulties (as most of us do of course) I’m to not only buy it but be glad to do so?? What the hell does that mean? That there is some rhyme or reason to all this madness? That if I keep putting one foot in front of the other that there will be a purpose or knowledge gleaned or some kind of courage found that wasn’t there before? That maybe just maybe what doesn’t kill us … yeah that phrase.

Maybe there’s not a reason. It could be that life is life. That fairness doesn’t exist and there’s no grand justice or big daddy in the sky that keeps a tally. I don’t know. Don’t have that answer. What I do know is that I can remember. Remember who I really, truly am … way down deep … when the shit hits the fan. Full of honesty, courage, strength, truth, fortitude, willingness … yeah the stuff I dig.

So perhaps the whole acceptance thing is like military issue glasses. Not much for looks or bling or even pizazz but brings some serious clarity in Buddy Holly frames. What’s the nitty gritty of the “work” that we do in recovery? Gettin on with the gettin on … the “no matter what” of it all. Grit your teeth and accept it. Some of us even do it with some grace and style. Personally I’m still a bit teenager-ish about it, the tantrums lessen every month or so and hissy fits become funny.

“And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation — some fact of my life — unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. ” (pg. 417 BB 4th ed.)

Accept the things I cannot change … (serenity prayers worldwide)

“Take it” … “with favorable reception” … “and believe”. And whom or what you believe to be a power greater than you… (mine is a room full of drunks) they still continue to laugh at me as I look over top of my glasses with eye rolls and middle fingers. They accept me with all my flaws and tantrums and silliness that comes from thinking that I’m more important than I really am. They accept me with open arms and the knowledge that we share the same flawed perceptions peppered with humor. THEY YOU accept me… who the hell am I not to accept myself?

And as I continue to look over those ‘glasses’… when I decide to finally look through them again, life seems more than half full. Optimism through a reality strainer. Accepting that everything is as it should be at this very moment… it’s MY eyes that are the problem. Myopia and astigmatism in the guise of pessimistic belligerence. My prescription? A healthy dose… of acceptance.

Great Help For Our Community

admin — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 20:48:13 +0000

Submitted by MrClean on January 27, 2012

Dear username,

When I first got into recovery back in the early 80’s, there was a new medical “syndrome” that was discovered. This syndrome, a virus, was making my friends very ill, and later just about all of them that were diagnosed, later died. This was the beginning of the HIV/AIDS crisis. People didn’t know anything about it other than it was affecting homosexuals, hemophiliacs, and heroin addicts, and my friends in recovery were dropping like flies. We later found out that much like the disease of addiction, this disease also didn’t discriminate to any race, creed, religion, or sexual preference.

This was a very scary time for me as a recovering intravenous drug addict and watching my newly made, but very close friends die from this mysterious disease. I have to admit that I didn’t even want to get tested for HIV because I was so afraid that I probably had the virus. I finally took the test and thankfully, it wasn’t positive, but in the back of my mind I still thought that I might come down with “the virus” after a while. We heard back then that it would lie dormant for over a decade. I still remember all the wonderful souls that died a horrible death from AIDS.

Today things are different. I have many dear friends and even a couple of sponsees that are HIV positive. They are living clean and healthy lifestyles and their prognosis for continued good health is excellent. The reason for this is that there have been significant medical breakthroughs in the treatment this disease and all the new medications that were once too expensive to afford, are now readily available. There’s also been a definitive difference in the overall perception of HIV/AIDS in general.

ITR just met with a wonderful new sponsor that caters to the HIV/AIDS community and we wanted to do everything possible to support them. You’ve probably seen the AHF Pharmacy banner ad on our homepage. We’d like to reach not only all of our members with HIV, but we’d like to reach their friends and family as well.

Whether or not you’re interested in AHF Pharmacy as a resource for discounted and sometimes FREE medication, we have a group on our site where members can support each other who are living in recovery with HIV/AIDS. If you have HIV/AIDS, please join the group (which is in DIRE need of support) and be there for your fellow brothers and sisters in recovery.

Join the group here: HIV / AIDS Group on InTheRooms

Thanks and with Love,
MrClean (Kenny P.) and the InTheRooms Team

InTheRooms owes YOU an amends :(

admin — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 20:47:31 +0000

Submitted by TheDotMack on January 27, 2012

We made a mistake. We’ve been emailing you too much. A lot of members have complained to us since we started sending out emails for the LIVE Video Meetings, that we’ve been flooding their inbox with notifications. We are truly sorry and offer our deepest amends to you all in the spirit of recovery.

We’ve stopped sending those emails out to everyone and are only going to send them to you if you want them.

Click here to adjust your email settings and turn on the Meeting Reminder emails if you still want to receive them.

So then we thought, what would be the best way to keep our community informed of the meeting schedule?

We decided to condense all the important information into a single email, a “daily digest” if you will. The Daily Meditation email now includes the LIVE Video Meeting schedule for the day. We also are including the day’s anniversaries so you can congratulate your brothers and sisters in the community for staying in recovery one day at a time for a lot of days in a row. :)

Thank you so much for being a part of our community.

Love,
TheDotMack and The InTheRooms Team

P.S.: Watch out for some big exciting changes to InTheRooms in the coming weeks… :)

ITR Cartoon: Amends

admin — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 21:05:56 +0000

Submitted by BenBen The Fisherman on January 20, 2012

Relapsing: A Mistake, but Not the End of the World

admin — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 21:04:11 +0000

Submitted by JoyceL on January 20, 2012

A friend was telling me yesterday about one of her dear friends, a man who has been sober for two years now, who fell off the wagon. Life caught up with him, too much shit was going on, and he said “f*ck it.” I know the feeling. I have relapsed many, many times. The first time I tried getting sober, I stayed sober for seven months and white knuckled it the whole time. This was because I had clung to the idea the entire seven months that I could learn to drink moderately. My partner at the time was persuaded by my success with sobriety and acceded to my commencing drinking again. It was a mistake.

There were other periods of attempted sobriety over the course of my twenty-nine-year drinking career, but the second serious time I tried to get sober, it was because I’d scared myself. I drank so much so quickly that I was yabbering away on my bar stool one moment, and a second later, my eyes rolled back in my head. I fell off the bar stool and to the floor, slamming my head in the process, and lay unconscious for a few more seconds. When I came to, I started puking my guts up. People swarmed around me, saying things; a friend pulled me to my feet and drag-walked me to the restroom to clean me up. An ambulance arrived. The EMTs couldn’t believe that alcohol was the only thing in my system–there had to be something else. There was nothing. Nothing but booze. I was rushed off the hospital with alcohol poisoning, or, as my official diagnosis read: “acute alcohol intoxication.”

Pretty “cute,” all right.

It was horribly embarrassing. I was grateful the bar wasn’t one I frequented, so only the couple people who were with me would know that fool had been me. The ER nurse suggested tartly that I “learn to change my habits.” The cop taking the report was kind: “Too much to drink, huh?” A baffled, “I guess so,” from me. I felt like crap for three whole days after that. The bill for the ER and the ambulance set me back two thousand bucks.

I stayed sober for three months, but since fear was the only thing keeping me sober, I went right back out.

And here’s the thing. Fear isn’t enough. A nagging spouse isn’t enough. Nothing is enough to keep you sober until it’s YOU who wants to be, and stay, sober. Until you give in to the fact that you are just one of those persons who can’t drink, that alcohol does bizarre shit to you, and that you can NEVER drink, you will be doomed to one day pick the stuff up again.

The next step is: how to maintain this frame of mind for two, five, ten, twenty years, the rest of your life?

Some people keep a list of all the awful things that ever happened to them when they were drinking. If tempted to drink, they review that list. That reminds them why they decided to get sober in the first place. (After a few years, it can be easy to forget, especially since the addict in our brain is very good at reminding us of all the “fun” we had when we drank.)

For me personally, it’s having a solid spiritual program that keeps me sober. My spirituality now drips over into virtually all aspects of my life: I meditate, I pray, I teach (helping others aligns with my spiritual program), I write and paint and play guitar (creativity aligns with my spiritual program). Basically every waking moment, I breathe and exude my own spirituality in some form or another. Bidden or unbidden, God is always present. With significance attached to every action, every moment is imbued with meaning. Drinking is irrelevant. Drinking is a huge interruption. Drinking is a backslide.

Problems become a spiritual challenge: I meditate, I think, I pray: “Show me. What shall I do? What should I do? Is it true? Is it right? Is it kind? What am I meant to learn from this? How can I turn this into something good?” And so on. There is no time for drinking. Escape is not the answer. I try to embrace problems. I have faith that, no matter what, I will grow. I know that painful emotions will not kill me. They are, after all, only feelings. Ride the wave; I simply must experience those rough feelings and see them through.

Some people are so embarrassed after a relapse that they are too humiliated to show their faces at their old AA meetings again, ashamed to sigh and say, “Hi, I’m Joe, I’m an alcoholic,” when the meeting chair asks who is present who’s been sober under 30 days. Hey, you can’t save your butt and save face at the same time. ‘Fess up. You’ll feel better. Your fellow AAers tend to not judge relapses because we’ve all been there. Your sponsor will help you identify the causes of your relapse and help you come up with a plan for staving the next one off. It’s not the end of the world; learn from your mistakes. Progress, after all; not perfection.

Brush off your jeans and hop back in the saddle. Welcome back.

$25 dollar Amazon Gift Card For Signing Up With AHF!

admin — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 21:03:33 +0000

Submitted by AHF Pharmacy on January 20, 2011

Do you or someone you love take HIV/Aids medications? If you answered yes, AHF Pharmacy will be giving a $25 Dollar Amazon gift card to EVERYONE that signs up for their service!

This service is FREE and Confidential! The medications come right to your mailbox. This is a Nationally recognized resource and they’ve been receiving wonderful reviews!

Go to http://intherooms.wufoo.com/forms/ahf-pharmacy/ for more info

Los Angeles-based AIDS Healthcare Foundation (AHF) is a global organization providing cutting-edge medicine and advocacy to over 150,000 people in 26 countries. We are the largest provider of HIV/AIDS medical care in the U.S.

Since 1987, AHF has expanded delivery of healthcare and influence over policy with the sole aim of saving more lives. AHF has a truly independent voice in our mission to rid the world of AIDS. AHF’s operating capital comes from our own self-created social enterprises. AHF Pharmacies, thrift stores, healthcare contracts and other strategic partnerships generate funding that helps AHF provide medical and advocacy services across the globe.

AHF Pharmacy will process most all private insurance, Medicare, and several PAP (Patient Assistance Program) pharmacy cards. There are numerous copay cards for such drugs as Truvada, Atripla, Reyataz, Norvir, Epzicom, Kaletra, etc… These copay cards often offer saving of up to $200.00 monthly.

We will ship:

Fed-Ex
Free Antioxidants (with prescription)
Free Multivitamins (with prescription)
Free (one-time) pill box

Please contact us now and receive an additional incentive with transfer of prescriptions and help us help others!

Yes we have sued pharmaceutical companies!

“Gilead and other companies have agreed to provide additional discounts to ADAPs, and the President has asked the companies to do more to help these programs. There’s no reason for Merck to refuse other than greed,” said Tom Myers, Chief of Public Affairs for AIDS Healthcare Foundation.

AHF’s new campaign will be a “Merck: Breaking the Bank” direct mail postcard sent to the communities surrounding Merck’s headquarters in Whitehouse Station, NJ. 12-08-11 marketwatch.com

Yes we have sought condom usage in pornography through federal courts!

In a lawsuit filed Thursday in Los Angeles Superior Court, city attorneys say the AIDS Healthcare Foundation’s proposed measure is unnecessary and will waste taxpayer money.

The AIDS Healthcare Foundation has already collected more than 71,000 unverified voter signatures and has submitted them to city officials for verification. “I think it’s extraordinary to attempt to thwart the will of 71,000 voters who under the laws of the city of Los Angeles wish to see this measure put before the voters,” said Weinstein. 12-10-11 abcnews.com

In other news…

AIDS groups this week will stage a mock funeral at the San Francisco home of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.).

Spearheaded by the AIDS Healthcare Foundation (AHF), the activists say the event pays tribute to the 13 AIDS patients who have died while on the waiting list of the AIDS Drug Assistance Program (ADAP), which provides HIV/AIDS drugs to sufferers who can’t afford the enormous costs. 8-02-10 thehill.com

This is your opportunity to help the cause and the tens of thousands in need of care and medication by simply filling your ARVs (antiretroviral/HIV meds) through the AHF Pharmacy.

$500 Amazon Gift Card From InTheRooms and netDealio!

admin — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 21:02:47 +0000

Submitted by netDealio on January 20, 2012

In our ongoing effort to always bring our members new and exciting benefits that will enhance your lifestyle we are launching our own ITR Daily Deal program known as NetDealio. We will be offering you daily opportunities to buy exceptional deals of great value with discounts from 50% to 90% off the retail price for Food, Dining, Health & Beauty, Travel, Leisure Activities, Exciting Products and much more.

Sign up is FREE! All you have to do is sign-up through our subscription process. You will receive the latest and greatest deals we can find directly into your inbox. Please browse the Nearby Deals and the National Deals to see all the selections. If you like what you see BUY IT, if you don’t there will be something you like tomorrow or in the very near future, there is no obligation.

As an extra added incentive for signing up to receive our NEW Daily Deal we are offering you an opportunity to win a $500 Amazon Shopping Spree. All you need to do to enter is sign up for the Daily Deal and you are automatically registered in the giveaway. If one chance at winning isn’t enough, which we totally understand, just get your friends to sign up and you will receive an additional entry for each one that does.

Please check your email box shortly for details about when our ITR Daily Deal will be arriving to your area and most of all take advantage at the opportunity to win a $500 Amazon Gift Card.

Forget Groupon & Living Social, NOW! The InTheRooms Daily Deals are Here.

ITR Cartoon: Trusting

admin — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 21:08:37 +0000

Submitted by BenBen The Fisherman on January 13, 2012

Trusting The Process

admin — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 21:07:33 +0000

Submitted by Recovering Angel on January 13, 2012

Until a few years ago, I thought that if I only had the right external conditions I would be happy. I tried hard to get to that point, and by most accounts, I did. That still did not bring me happiness.

Addiction rescued me from going crazy by numbing the pain, the emptiness. That solution quickly turned on me. I know now that my addiction was but a symptom of my disease. I spent many years trying to find a chemical solution for a spiritual problem.

I have a disease of perception that tells me I don’t belong, that nobody can possibly understand me. The only way to keep my disease in remission is by staying in a fit, spiritual condition.

I am so glad I have a great support system as I am now facing my biggest challenge: getting to know and love ME as newly single. It’s overwhelming at times.

I’m moving to my own place in a few days, leaving behind a relationship that was the foundation of my being for over a decade. I’m surrendering to the process without resorting to manipulation or holding him hostage. I am allowing him to follow his path, whatever that may be.

I don’t know what my life will look like a year from now. That’s OK, I don’t have to know anymore. I have faith that no matter what happens, I will be OK.

And as for you, all I can say is May you be happy, May you find love, May you live a long life.

My Story, what it was like then, what happened and where I am now!

admin — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 21:06:41 +0000

xnavygal on January 13, 2012

I just now heard this song for the very first time. It was so evident to me, it had been my life, from my childhood, into adulthood and also now in recovery and being on this path of risk, change and balance in learning a new way of life. Growing up in a small town in Southern Ohio and being the sole caretaker of my alcoholic mother from the age of 5, a father who had pretty much abandoned me, then boyfriends, husbands and later Nat’l Government Organizations, and sponsors. I was raped by my brother-in-law from the age of 13 to 32. I left Ohio at age 19 and moved to FL. Did every drug coming and going in the 70’s..decided to make a radical change at 28. I had always enjoyed a good challenge and I figured that I had done just about everything else in life…so I went to the far right and joined the military, US NAVY.

Much to my surprise I loved it immediatly. Finally gaining the self-esteem and the total lack of discipline from my dysfunctional family. Received a top secret clearance and spent the majority of my service overseas. Twelve years in, I had major jaw surgery from another military branch that went drastically wrong. I ended up having seven more surgeries to finally get my bite right. The results were TMJ, titanium rods, pins and screws that are of course now a permanent fixture. Makes it tough getting thru airport security now..lol At 38 I developed epilepsy out of the blue.

I never had it as a child and neither does anyone else in my family. After the epilepsy was discovered and confirmed the military sent me to see my first neurologist. He prescribed me Depakote and my first narcotic pain reliever. I had been having chronic head and neck pain for two yrs prior due to what the surgeons had done. Then I was told that they (the Navy) had to let me go because all of my work was either overseas or onboard ship and their may not always be a neurologist available. Needless to say with five years left til retirement I retired with an honorable discharge but do not receive monthly retirement pay. (I did’nt get my 20 yrs in). That was the beginning of both my addiction and depression.

I married my current husband while still on active duty and I had my first and only child at 43. After years of addiction to these narcotics I finally realized that I was never successful on my own in beating this disease. I went to my first rehab Mar 3, 2008 the day after my daughters 4th birthday, once again late in my life at 48. The rest is history pretty much. I did relapse with a beer the night before I was to have 18months clean. And once more after that.

I have been moved in the past to write something about my life and my recovery since finding the rooms of NA. I have done alot of work on me this past year, self-acceptance, walking thru the fear by utilizing my faith and not taking my will back over and over as often. I have learned to put the ACTION behind the willingness and am learning to be my own best friend (you can never be lonely if you like who you’re alone with)!

I’ve had to reach out and quit hiding in plain site. I could write a book but let me suffice it to say that I am finally applying the spiritual principles in every area of my life today that can only be done for me by working and understanding the spiritual principles through the 12 steps of our NA fellowship, STEPS=Solution To End Personal Strife. I am still my worst critic and continue to act out on character defects thru my shortcomings, but I have learned to put down the bat more often than not and have worked so much on me.

Of course I’m not where I’d like to be but at least I know I am not where I was and that’s okay. I don’t overwhelm myself today with all I need to do this week or this month because I only need to work this very day, today. If you are new to NA or coming back to restart this way of life, just hold on.

Dreams really do come true if you put the action behind the willingness and remember this is progress NOT perfection. I am truly blessed, filled with so much gratitude and am changing!! CHANGE=changing honestly accepting new growth everyday. And my HP continues to fill me with GRACE=give recovery a chance everyday. I love acronyms, must be the military gal in me..lolol. Just trust in this process and believe in the progress. Sent with much love, respect and gratitude your friend XNAVYGAL, Jen

The Online Vision

admin — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 21:05:53 +0000

Submitted by mats_einar on January 13, 2012

Hi Im Mats-Einar and I’m an Addict
Stockholm Sweden 2012-Jan -12

1989 I came into NA in Sweden ,in those days there was only 3 existing meetings in Sweden and only one pamphlet poorly translated we where using Xeroxed copies of it and running with whatever we got our hands on… I had to move out of my residence due to circumstances to protect my family and where I moved there where no NA meeting other ones yes but no NA.

1996 i bought my first computer in those days a modem was 128 kbps very fast NOT!!

In 99 we had moved another time to another city with no NA meetings in both places I tried getting a group going both of them but with very low attendance during this time I started hanging in chatrooms on internet and got great support from people abroad whom I later ran into in voice enabled rooms on internet. once I we moved from Trollhättan (SAAB city) my old home town to Stockholm to leave all the old stuff behind I suddenly lived in an area with many meetings. MAN did I enjoy that but I realized that there where a lot of loners in Sweden so I started thinking of getting a Swedish email support group going but I hit the wall in NA it wasn’t according to traditions I was told and frankly that made me upset it really pissed me off when people was suffering and me and some other people I had got to join up with this email list, so I started to look for a solution to get the group going and become officially NAWS approved and the solution came thru gods guidance and several phone calls meetings with NAWS board people that was here to speak and then once we made this group a physical gathering at conventions we where accepted and it stayed alive for 10 years until no one wold do service anymore then I had to shut it down du to the fact that I owned the domain had to be a physical person that was legally signed to it.

It was with both relief and grief that was done cause during those years I’ve had many people coming up to thanking me for NA Mail Sweden (NAMS) and that they found their way into NA thru that group this has given me tears in my eyes more than once and goosebumps all over too..it is a great gift and a great tool Internet if we use it in the right way.

Problem is that there is a lot of paragraph riders that only seek to stop instead of progress which is so sad my motto is focus on the solution instead of clinging on to the problem

Ive been hanging out in Paltalk at other programs but until ITR came along with voice and webcam feature and NA meetings there has been no alternative that I have found before.

ITR as a site is not NA nor AA or any other program but the meeting room we use and the basket in the room is NA the basket donations goes directly to NA all according to the traditions and the meetings are held according to NA Standard just like we use a community center a church or other facilities for a meeting..that is what ITR is in the virtual space of internet.

Once I got these meetings I have the chance to do way more meetings nowadays due to the fact that I have to spend 3 hours for a meeting 430 minute drive to the city and same back every time I want to go and I have a family I have work I have a life outside NA and to make all of it work the NA meetings and the AA meetings in ITR is a huge compliment to me I still do 1-3 Face 2 Face (f2f) meetings a week but having the possibility to attend meetings online is a GREAT feature.

During this time it struck me that there was very little people from Europe and not very meetings in ITR that suited our time zone GMT+ 0 , CET +1 and ECT +2 so I suggested to Mr Clean (Kenny) on ITR that we should open an European NA meeting and it was named The European Connection of course this meeting is open to everyone all over the world but the taught is that we should provide meetings in a time zone that fits Europe and now we have 1 meeting a week at WEDNESDAYS 6 pm GMT 7pm CET 8 PM EET the goal is to get a meeting every day at this hour and find more service committed people in EU to chair these meetings Tuesdays Thursdays Fridays and Saturdays has no meetings at this time and it is my vision that we get this going ASAP due to the fact that there is a lot of people out there in great need of support

NA is today a world wide fellowship and already after 2 meetings I’ve seen people from Italy Ireland UK Germany Sweden Norway Russia Bosnia India Hong kong colombia spain Honduras and most probably more places this is just awesome to be a part of and I pray that God inspires people to open more webcam based meetings online ITR is a GREAT door to that and I’m sure in due time other online communities will grow up also this is just the beginning of a new era for the 12 step movements I’m sure.

To me personally this also provides me with the chance to support people in pain last week I’ve helped 3 people thru ITR talking with them thru Skype and chat…

What a god given gift internet van be if I chose to use it in a good way like with ITR and online support etc as long as I stay away from all the negative stuff out there including internet bad stuff….

One decision I took is that I use my personal name all over where ever I go and I don’t hide behind a tag I am who I am and I don’t do stuff that I cant back up (I’m not perfect though)

so My name is M-E = Mats-Einar and that’s a part of my self acceptance process even online I used to hide before… that was then now is now.

The future is ours !!!!

AS LONG AS I WALK THAT WAY I HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR

ITR Cartoon: Only Requirement

admin — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 22:23:34 +0000

Submitted by BenBen The Fisherman on January 6, 2012

En busca de miembros de habla española para facilitar una reunión en español en InTheRooms

admin — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 22:22:05 +0000

Submitted by TheDotMack on January 6, 2012

First of all, my apologies if the headline for this article is incorrect. I used Google Translate and it might not be right. This is why we need YOU!

We are looking for a few people to volunteer to chair Spanish speaking meetings on InTheRooms.com. If you’re willing and able, please send a message to MrClean or RT and we’ll set you up with a meeting.

Thanks,
TheDotMack

admin — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 22:21:30 +0000

Submitted by Leonard Buschel on January 6, 2012

2012 REEL Recovery Film Festival Seeks Films About Alcoholism, Addictions, Treatment, and Recovery.

Ft. Lauderdale, FL
April, 2012

New York City, NY
September, 28, 29, 30, 2012

Vancouver, BC - Canada
October, 2012

Los Angeles, CA
October, 19, 20, 21, 22, 2012

The 4th Annual REEL Recovery Film Festival is an international event showcasing first-time filmmakers and experienced professionals who make films about addiction, treatment, recovery, and sobriety.

Our audience is treatment professionals, people in recovery, members of the entertainment industry, media representatives, educated moviegoers, and the general public. Certain television shows have brought individuals’ incomprehensible demoralizing moments (i.e., “bottoms”) to viewers everywhere. We honor the men and women who have passed through the eye of the needle and exemplify the gifts of a valuable and productive sobriety.

This yearly international festival is unique in its focus on drug addiction, alcoholism, and recovery. The realistic portrayal of these issues in cinema can be a catalyst for honest conversation and personal transformation.

Types of Films: Shorts, features, documentaries, music videos, educationals, and all other films/videos of any length that deal with the subjects of addiction, alcoholism, treatment, and/or recovery. Films should be editorially diverse, portraying a wide range of ideologies, experiences, cultural backgrounds, opinions and identities.

Review Process: W.I.T. is currently accepting films from January 1 through July 31, 2012. Reviews will be conducted by W.I.T.’s Board of Directors and/or other qualified advisors in the treatment/entertainment fields. Acceptance will be decided based on film content, quality, and availability of space.

By submitting your film to W.I.T. for consideration, you agree that W.I.T. has the right to screen your film at the REEL Recover Film Festival at will. (W.I.T. does not guarantee screening even in the case of acceptance.)

DVDs submitted become the property of W.I.T. and will not be returned.

Acceptance/rejection notifications will occur by August 15, 2012 via e-mail or phone.

Format of Submissions:

Films submitted as DVDs, clearly marked with: film title and running length. Include contact person’s name, address, phone number, and e-mail address.
We also accept e-submissions of mid-length and short films in an iTunes-friendly format via You Send It to www.reelrecoveryfilmfestival.org

You can download submission application at www.writersintreatment.org/call-for-film-submissions

Writers In Treatment is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization grounded in recovery and the arts (tax ID #26-3550390). W.I.T. helps men and women in the writing industry suffering from alcoholism, drug addiction, and other self-destructive behaviors get treatment for their disease.

PO Box 1745, Studio City, CA 91614
info at writersintreatment.org
(818) 762-0461

ITR Book of The Month: Punished For Purpose

admin — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 22:20:26 +0000

Submitted by Laura Burns on January 6, 2012

Punished for Purpose is a compelling true-life story of abuse, hardship and inspiration – the vivid tale of an abused child turned prostitute who could only reconcile her tragic existence as punishment for sins committed in a past life.

Close to the ultimate self destruction, she is guided by thifteen people, virtual angels, each of whom crosses her path at exactly the right moment, ultimately leading her back to the light. They prepared her for her destiny.

In the end, realizing that her childhood was necessary, she embraces it as the only path to her ultimate destiny, a life beyond imagination.

“Powerful, inspiring and courageous. Lauri’s Story will open your heart.” – Justin Carroll, writer & actor

“I was drawn in immediately. This powerful and inpirational story proves out of all circumstances, miracles can prevail.” – Cynthia Warden, Warden Entertainment Media

“Lauri’s Story dares everyone to change their thinking to the limitless potential of love.” – Christine Patrick, editor

Proceeeds provide homeless youth with shelter, food and transportation.

Buy The Book Here: http://www.punishedforpurpose.com/View.aspx/51/Punished-For-Purpose-%28Hard-Cover%29-Signed-by-the-Author-

ITR Cartoon: You did what??!!??

admin — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 18:16:07 +0000

Submitted by BenBen The Fisherman on December 30, 2011

To Begin Again, There Must Be an End

admin — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 18:14:09 +0000

Submitted by Tami on December 30, 2011

As the end of 2011 approaches, I have been doing a lot of reflecting on the year and opportunities for growth in my recovery. I finished step four, started step five with my sponsor, and am eagerly approaching step six in the Al-Anon program. I am ready to have God remove all these defects of character. But, in order for my Higher Power to work, I have to be willing to let go as well.

One part of the recovery program that I find most difficult is being willing to let go of old behavior that no longer serves me. I argue with myself that “that’s just how I’m programmed”, but I continue to be disappointed when things don’t go as I had pre-planned in my head. I see that I am still trying to play Higher Power in my own life and in the lives of others, and one recovery goal I have in 2012 is to begin again and put an end to my feelings of “if this, then that.”

I am trying to accept that a relationship that I valued and adored has come to an end. Most days, I fight it kicking and screaming, because that’s not how it was “supposed” to work out. When I try to make sense of things that don’t make sense, I become an obsessive, unrealistic Tami covered in a shroud of denial. Facing the pain and accepting the truth is harder than continuing the relationship, there’s no doubt about that.

So, today, I am praying to my Higher Power to put an end to my bargaining ways and help me begin anew with tools of self-respect and growth.

Volunteer to Chair a Video Meeting

admin — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 18:13:14 +0000

Submitted by TheDotMack on December 30, 2011

Hi All!

We desperately need volunteers who are willing to chair meetings using our new Video Meetings platform. We came up with a minimum of recovery time of 3 years however this was just set to make sure people were serious about chairing. That requirement can be overlooked.

We have scheduled a training session for this wednesday for anyone who wants to attend and learn how to chair a video meeting. You don’t need to RSVP, just show up and we’ll show you the ropes!

If you have a good internet connection, are fairly comfortable with the website, and have the willingness to chair a meeting once a week, please raise your hand / send a message to MrClean or TheDotMack.

Thanks and with love,
TheDotMack

ITR Year In Review

admin — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 18:12:23 +0000

Submitted by MrClean on December 30, 2011

Well, it seems as though 2011 is coming to an end. That’s 365 days of Just For Todays and One Day At a Times. We, at In The Rooms, want to thank you for making it such a special year!

When we first launched this site, we had big hopes, but we’d never DREAMED it would blossom into what you see today. We know now, that we’re just getting started! None of this would be possible without YOU, and our 182,000+ members!

In the past year alone, over 75,000 new members have joined InTheRooms! We have the largest AA and NA groups in the world, we now have 636,000 years of recovery and are viewed in 136 Countries! Even our Facebook page has over 36,500 members!

We created the free iPhone app “Afternoon Affirmations” which is available now in the iPhone App Store. It’s a wonderful way to start your afternoon! We just submitted our iPhone App to Apple for approval. Stay tuned! It won’t be long now!

We also created the Burning Desire button, which has been responsible for helping our members help eachother and save lives!

Through lots of hard work from our tech team, TheDotMack and Winner, we have rolled out our new ITR Video Platform. Our AA and NA meetings are getting RAVE reviews! More meetings are being added daily. We even have a 7th Tradition basket on our NA meeting so that you can put a “buck in the basket” and it goes directly to NA World Service. Hopefully we’ll have the same arrangement soon with AA. There will be more meetings added soon for the families. Alanon, Naranon and ACA meetings are coming soon!

InTheRooms was honored with the President’s Award at this year’s Prism Awards. It is their most prestigious award! We were recognized by the Entertainment Industry Council and SAMSHA “for a project that not only raises awareness but also leaves behind a legacy in the field of Recovery and Mental Health” This was an incredible and humbling honor.

We have established and enhanced our relationships with Drugfree.org, TheFix.com, To Write Love on Her Arms, and Renew Magazine. These organizations are philosophically and spiritually aligned with us and we’re truly grateful for their endorsement of what we’re trying to accomplish here. We hope to grow these relationships in the future.

We created our new InTheRooms Addiction Magazine and we are very impressed with quality of the writing. Check it out at http://www.InTheRooms.com/addiction

Once again, these things couldn’t have happened without YOU! This is YOUR site! Most of what you see on this site has come from YOU. We have asked for your input and have taken your suggestions. Please keep those ideas coming!

RT, TheDotMack and I would like to take this time to wish you a wonderful, Happy and Healthy New Year! We’ll be looking for you In The Rooms in 2012.

ITR Cartoon: Santa Claus

admin — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 18:43:40 +0000

Submitted by BenBen The Fisherman on December 23, 2011

Is Today the Day?

admin — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 18:42:25 +0000

Submitted by Recovering Angel on December 23, 2011

Recent events in my life have reminded me of a Buddhist practice that requires that you ask yourself everyday, “Is today the day I die?” It might appear morbid but it’s quite the contrary.

When I ask myself that question, I feel free from the chains of the future because tomorrow it’s not promised to me. When I only think about today, I am free to enjoy the present moment.

Am I able to stay in the moment all the time? Hell no! Fear creeps in reminding me that I am powerless over people, places, and things. And how I wish I could change the way I feel!

No, I don’t want to use or drink, I ONLY want things to go MY way. Is that too much to ask? Your will and not mine…

Along with Fear, Self-pity starts yelling, “Life is not fair!” True. If it were, I would probably be in jail, dead, or living under a bridge. Self-pity doesn’t care about that though. Self-pity wants me on the ground, defeated, playing the victim card.

Once I realize that I’ve been listening to Fear and Self-pity, and not only listening but believing what they’re telling me, I scream louder, “I surrender.”

I surrender to the process, I surrender to the pain, I surrender to not knowing. I then repeat over and over in my head, “God’s got my back.”

I choose to believe that regardless of what’s going on in my life, I am going to be OK. This too shall pass…

Is today the day that I die? I don’t know but if it is, I want to go enjoying life, loving everything I have, determined to focus on all the beauty that surrounds me.

Original Post: http://www.intherooms.com/addiction/is-today-the-day/

Holiday Video Meetings Schedule

admin — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 18:41:47 +0000

Submitted by RT on December 23, 2011

Hi Everyone! I wanted to share with you our schedule of meetings we’ll have available for you all on the Holidays this year.

On Christmas Eve, December 24, 2011:

On Christmas Day, December 25, 2011:

On New Years Eve, December 31, 2011:

On New Years Day, January 1, 2012:

Thanks and Happy Holidays,

Cant afford your AIDS / HIV Medication? Help is here.

admin — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 18:40:50 +0000

Submitted by AHF Pharmacy on December 23, 2011

We will ship:

Fed-Ex
Free Antioxidants (with prescription)
Free Multivitamins (with prescription)
Free (one-time) pill box

Please contact us now and receive an additional incentive with transfer of prescriptions and help us help others!

Go to http://www.ahfpharmacy.org/ for more info

Yes we have sued pharmaceutical companies!

AHF’s new campaign will be a “Merck: Breaking the Bank” direct mail postcard sent to the communities surrounding Merck’s headquarters in Whitehouse Station, NJ. 12-08-11 marketwatch.com

Yes we have sought condom usage in pornography through federal courts!

In a lawsuit filed Thursday in Los Angeles Superior Court, city attorneys say the AIDS Healthcare Foundation’s proposed measure is unnecessary and will waste taxpayer money.

In other news…

AIDS groups this week will stage a mock funeral at the San Francisco home of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.).

This is your opportunity to help the cause and the tens of thousands in need of care and medication by simply filling your ARVs (antiretroviral/HIV meds) through the AHF Pharmacy.

ITR Cartoon: Needs Some Good Mopping

admin — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 23:26:49 +0000

Submitted by BenBen The Fisherman on December 16, 2011

A 10 Point Holiday Strategy To Keep Those in Recovery on Track

admin — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 23:25:37 +0000

Submitted by Timothy Cheney and Rita Watson, MPH on December 16, 2011

Holidays for persons in early recovery and their families can be both tenuous and treacherous. Despite the season “to be jolly” it is also a season that can mean a significant setback for those in recovery. People in early recovery need to be especially vigilant and cannot necessarily rely on their judgment on what constitutes a safe situation. After all, their best thinking led them to their current situation. As such, it is an important to understand the holiday problem, stay connected to positive roots, and plan ahead to prevent backslides.

Here’s why.

Addiction, the brain, and the family
Addiction is a chronic and often relapsing brain disease and many of the triggers that prompt substance abuse take years to heal. The brain requires time to rewire. Addiction is also a family disease. The family, in an attempt to deal with the addict or alcoholic over the years, has also developed defensive coping behaviors that are hard wired. Their brains also need time to rewire and heal. Most addicts and alcoholics want what they want when they want it and the concept of patience and T.I.M.E (Things I Must Earn) can be difficult
For the family afflicted with alcoholism or addiction, holidays have often ranged from uncomfortable to traumatic, which makes it extremely difficult to avoid slipping into old behavioral patterns.

As such, for those in recovery the holiday season can be as dangerous as walking through a mine field because many of the switches hardwired into the brain — switches that say ‘reach for your substance of choice’ – have not been deactivated.

Holiday commercials and decorations tell us it is time to party and get in the festive spirit. But what looks externally appealing has the potential to bring up feelings of sadness and depression internally. People in recovery need to seek support from those who can help them stay on a positive path rather than rely on their own judgment, which is what led them to their current status – a person in recovery.

Here is a ten point plan (suggestions) to have a safe and sober holiday.

10 point holiday strategy

When you go to a party be certain you are with friends who do not drink or use drugs.

Always hold onto your own glass and be careful not to pick up a glass that belongs to someone else who might have alcohol.

Have an escape route and time of departure planned – if the party gets to be too high-pressure and you become uncomfortable, be able to leave on your own.
Go to meetings and more meetings. Make extra appointments with your sponsor or counselor.
Share your holiday apprehension in meetings and discuss your plans with your sponsor and get feedback and reassurance.

Stick with the winners and stay in the middle of the herd where you won’t get picked off.
Use the phone and reach out if you are hurting. An addict alone is in a bad neighborhood.
Be aware of H.A.L.T (Hungry. Angry. Lonely. Tired.). The old timers always used to advise keeping a couple of hard candies in your pocket to keep your blood sugar up.

Keep your expectations realistic. Just because you are clean and sober and feeling comfortable with your disease does not mean that everyone else has the same comfort level. It may take years to earn back the trust that your addiction destroyed.
Do not expect a ticker tape parade or a standing ovation for saving your own life. Addiction is self imposed, slow, systematic suicide. Yes, it is a disease, but the reality is that most people do not see it that way.

By following a planned strategy, it is possible to take part in holiday festivities and, when you ring in the New Year clean and sober, give yourself and your higher power a hand (standing ovation).

Timothy Cheney along with Adrian Hooper, Jr. are co- founders of www.choopersguide.com, a site dedicated to provide a comprehensive treatment resource with a goal towards saving lives by making treatment information readily accessible.

Rita Watson, MPH, is the former director of policy and education for the Yale Department of Psychiatry Substance Abuse Treatment Unit. She is a medical and relationships writer for The Providence Journal and her With Love and Gratitude blog appears on Psychology Today.

the red silk scarf

admin — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 23:23:56 +0000

Submitted by AmyG on December 16, 2011

A visit to Christmas past … from days when I wore the addiction counseling hat. Let me never forget the lessons learned in that decade. Blessings to you and yours and remember what you “have” instead of what you “have not.”

Christmas was an especially difficult time for those of us in recovery and those of us working in the field of Addiction Treatment. It was also a time of great humility and gratitude. Most of my patients had nothing. To give “stuff” to them seemed trite as they gave all they had to me in the form of tears and blood dripping honesty.

You’re not supposed to have favorites, but I did. She had been through every horrific experience you could think of (yes …when I say every I mean every) but still managed to have a smile on her scarred face.

Her beauty radiated from within. Feisty and precocious her smile made my heart laugh. Looking twenty years older than her actual age, life had not been kind. Beat up from the feet up, time after time after time, her story was not new. She had been to that particular treatment center 12 times. More holes than skin on her arms, legs, neck, and places it’s not nice to mention. She traveled from den to gallery, shooting up style, New York to Florida to Texas to Ohio.

To say she was hopeless was a lie. DESPITE her torrid life … she remained filled with hope. “This time is gonna be different”, she’d say with a smile. My colleagues would snicker. I did not. For that one moment in time, she believed it. It was enough. She was enough. Can you imagine a life filled with no one believing in you? So I believed in her. With my whole heart and soul.Yes I was called gullible. Didn’t care. Everyone needs ONE person in this world that believes in them. The outcome didn’t matter so much to me as being present in the moment. I wasn’t responsible for her recovery but I WAS responsible for being fully THERE.

Too proud to accept gifts, I snuck into her room while she was in another group therapy session and placed a silk scarf on her pillow. (She fancied herself a “movie star”) Next day she was peacockin’ around the center, styling in her new soft as faux silk red scarf, costing all of ten dollars (all I could afford on a counselors salary trust me). “Aren’t I beautiful? I’m going to wear this to a meeting. All the boys will fancy me.”

What a gorgeous gift she gave me. She never knew who gave her the scarf. She was simply grateful for that very moment when she felt like Sophia Lauren. I adored her spirit and zest for life. I wanted her to have a gift because she had given me so many. Hope and courage and trust and the joy of living in the moment … because that’s all she had.

I remembered this at her funeral.

Almost exactly two years to the day that I gently placed the ruby red slip of fake silk on her pillow. Eyes glistened with hope as I celebrated what she taught me. At the casket I was going to let another silk scarf drop but I clutched it in my coat pocket. It was cowardly but I wanted to keep it for myself. I saw emotionless family members shake their heads and talk about how “She killed herself.” Yes. She suffered but does that make a life less important? She was a precious lady of dignity and grace in the throes of a deadly disease, even though most saw a worthless dope fiend with years of death marked on her slender body.

Never give up. Hope is eternal and the simplest of pleasures is the most we could ever ask for. Even the most “hopeless” cases have lessons to teach.

As a recovering woman I remember her every Christmas season; remember her contagious optimism and zest for life. Even though she could never manage to obtain more than a few months of sobriety in a row… she helped me to remember that all life is valuable and judgments are better left with those more qualified. Namely… NOT me.

Joy can be found in the least expected places; everywhere at every moment. Embrace your ‘gifts’ this season, you never know when they will fade away…

~ a.G.~ aka SassySoberGirl

read more posts from Amy at the following sites…
I Love Recovery
Actualized Recovery

New Video Meetings Calendar on ITR Home Page

admin — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 23:23:16 +0000

Submitted by TheDotMack on December 16, 2011

Hi Guys! I just wanted to drop you all a quick note to let you know that we’ve been working hard this week at improving the video meetings and scheduling chairpeople to take over the meetings.

RT, MrClean and I have come up with a really great way for you all to find out when all the meetings are… We put them right on the home page!

What do you guys think?

Click here to see the new Meetings Calendar

ITR Cartoon: Sponsorship on the Side

admin — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 21:16:13 +0000

Submitted by BenBen The Fisherman on December 9, 2011

Nutralenda Extends Liver Detox Opportunity to the ITR Community

admin — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 21:14:28 +0000

Submitted by Nutralenda on December 9, 2011

As incredible and powerful as the liver is, our modern lifestyle kicks it into overdrive with excessive exposure to synthetic chemicals and toxins. Certain foods, alcohol, prescription, and recreational drug use (as well as specific medical conditions such as Hepatitis and Cirrhosis) can all cause major cell damage. Ensuring our body’s main filtering system is up for the task is a must.

At Nutralenda, we understand that the treatments for cleansing and boosting the liver can sometimes leave you feeling worse than before. That’s why we developed our Liver Booster supplement which is made with a potent, all-natural and organic Calendula blend which is reported to contain carotenoids, phenolic acids, sterols, saponins, flavonoids, resins, sterins, quinones, mucilages, vitamins, polyprenylquinones, and essential oils which are vital to ensuring optimal health.

Due to its ability to detoxify the body, Calendula helps cleanse the liver of accumulated toxins, and can be employed for the treatment of problems affecting this vital organ in the body. For example, the results from the Indian J Exp Biol. 2009 Mar; 47 (3):163-8 study suggest a protective role of the flower extract of Calendula officianalis against CCl4 induced acute hepatotoxicity and cisplatin induced nephrotoxicity.

The Liver Booster Power Pack (270 ct) is Nutralenda’s most comprehensive liver support regimen. This highest concentration of our proprietary blend is part of a 3-month program offering the ultimate support for healthy cell function and effective liver detoxification.

All of our Liver Booster products provide nutritional support and a suite of naturally occurring bioactive compounds. By combining a Calendula and Agrimonia flower blend, all of our proprietary blends promote the positive cellular function needed for the liver to work at an optimal level. Now, Nutralenda is offering an exlusive opportunity to ITR and it Friends in Recovery, to try out the Liver Booster Power Pack for FREE, to those who are experiencing liver ailments.The trial is able to accept 300 participants, so in order be considered for participation in this program, you will be asked to take a moment to answer a short questionnaire, and we will provide you with your FREE regimen.

Nutralenda would like to applaud and thank IN THE ROOMS for putting together this amazing online resource and seeking to continue providing their loyal followers with products that promote optimal health.

Please fill out this form: http://intherooms.wufoo.com/forms/r7×3a7/

For more info on Nutralenda, go to http://www.nutralenda.com

Oh My Gauze The Video Meeting Isnt Working!

admin — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 21:13:53 +0000

Submitted by TheDotMack on December 9, 2011

Some folks say, they can’t get the video meetings to work right. I say it works if you work it. Can anyone tell that I decided to have an energy drink today instead of a cup of coffee like I normally do?

Let’s get down to it. There are tons of different computers and setups that we’re trying to get working, so we came up with a checklist of things that you can look in to to troubleshoot being able to attend video meetings.

What Web Browser are you using?
- Google Chrome, Apple Safari, and Mozilla Firefox work best.
- Don’t know what a web browser is? Check out the video at http://www.whatbrowser.org
What’s your internet connection?
- Cable, DSL, or a Dedicated Network Line work best
- Dialup is not supported
Check your volume
- Is your volume turned up, or is your computer muted by mistake?
Get the latest version of Adobe Flash Player here http://get.adobe.com/flashplayer/
Trying to share? Is your camera and microphone selected and turned on?
- Click “Camera Settings”
- Click “Allow”
- Make sure you see yourself on the cam, and that you see the microphone meter moving when you speak.
- If not, click on the one that isn’t working and correct the setting.
- Click “Close Settings”
- Click “Turn Cam On”
- Click “Allow”
- Click “Request to Share”

A couple more things. If you’re trying to get on from your iPhone or iPad, it’s not going to work. Flash.

If you have an Android device, you should be able to watch the meeting, but sharing is disabled, and we can’t guarantee that it’s going to work. If you can try, let us know!

Finally, if you’ve checked all this stuff and it STILL isn’t working, simply “refresh” your browser page and wait a few moments. Sometimes it has trouble getting connected.

And, if you STILLLLL have trouble after that, we are so, so, sooooooo, so sorry. Send an email to support at intherooms.com and describe in detail the frustrations that we’ve caused you and we’ll suggest you try meditation, and then we’ll try to get you up and running lickety split.

Live Strong,
The InTheRooms Bewilderment Reduction Department (AKA From The Desk Of TheDotMack)

Video Meetings Schedule Announced

admin — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 21:13:12 +0000

Submitted by TheDotMack on December 9, 2011

Hello friends, recovery-ers (Is that a word? I just made it a word.) We spent much time deliberating as to the best times to have online video meetings and we think we’ve developed a schedule that is as committed to excellence as we are (I’ve been saying “Committed to Excellence” a lot lately.)

Behold, the official schedule (All of these are on Eastern Standard Time):

Alcoholics Anonymous

Mon - 8PM EST
Tue - 10PM EST
Wed - 12PM (Noon) EST
Thu - 8PM EST
Fri - 10PM EST
Sat - 12PM (Noon) EST
Sun - 5PM EST

Narcotics Anonymous

Mon - 12PM EST
Tue - 8PM EST
Wed - 10PM EST
Thu - 10PM EST
Fri - 12AM (Midnight) EST
Sat - 5PM EST
Sun - 12PM (Noon) EST

Keep in mind, that some of these meetings are not up and running yet. We’re still in the process of training those who volunteered to chair the meetings. I know what you’re thinking… yes, there will be meetings where TheDotMack isn’t sitting in front of his computer biting his nails and waiting for the internet to explode. One day all children go off to college, and this baby of mine will do fine on her own (If she doesn’t party too much). I’m getting off track. Sorry.

See you on cam soon!

To your health and to your recovery,
Sir DotMack of The Internets

ITR Cartoon: Feelings

admin — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 21:34:52 +0000

Submitted by BenBen The Fisherman on December 2, 2011

Doctors Prescriptions / Deadly Addictions Radio Show

admin — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 21:32:27 +0000

Submitted by demodoll on December 2, 2011

Doctor’s Prescriptions / Deadly Addictions Radio Show airs every Sunday night from 8-9pm on WBZT 1230AM. The show also streams live at www.wbzt.com. If you have the iheartradio app on your Smartphone, you can find us under West Palm Beach. To call into the show, call (561) 844-6167 or (800) 889-0267.

Host Jim McGilvary and Co-hosts Ellen Arnold (demodoll on ITR.com) & Ray Lynch (irishyankeenut on ITR.com) are looking forward to hearing from the ITR.com guys on our show this Sunday December 4th!!!!!

And as usual, we will be happy to talk to all callers about whatever is on your mind about addiction AND recovery!!! If you cannot listen live, like us on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Doctors-PrescriptionsDeadly-Addictions-Radio-Show/109834945783137

Tune in, get informed…

ITR Book of The Month: Picking Up the Pieces without Picking Up by Jennifer Storm

admin — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 21:31:32 +0000

Submitted by RT on December 2, 2011

“Just when you thought recovery couldn’t get any harder, life on life’s terms happens, and sometimes that means someone perpetrating violence on you or your home.”

These words from the introduction of Jennifer Storm’s newest book encapsulate a very real problem facing thousands in recovery today. Being victimized by crime can be a life-altering, traumatic experience—one that can potentially throw a person off the course of recovery and back into the throes of addiction.

Focus is on rebuilding one’s life after the devastation of a crime or trauma, while preventing relapse and promoting healing and self-awareness. Through guided exercises, journaling, recovery reminders, and other helpful tools, readers will be empowered to move through their victimization with grace and strength.

Picking up the Pieces without Picking Up offers a caring voice and expert guidance for those struggling with victimization and addiction, and also serves as a valuable resource for professionals in the treatment field, the criminal justice system, and the counseling arena.

Jennifer Storm is the Executive Director of the Victim/Witness Assistance Program in Harrisburg, PA. She graduated from Pennsylvania State University with a BS in Rehabilitation Services and a Master’s Degree in Organizational Management from The University of Phoenix.

In 2002, Governor Edward G. Rendell appointed Ms. Storm as a commissioner to the Pennsylvania Commission on Crime and Delinquency. She was later appointed to the Homeland Security, Law Enforcement and Justice Systems Advisory committees where she also serves on the Terrorism Prevention and Local Law Enforcement Subcommittee.

Her media appearances include appearances on all major networks as a spokesperson for victims rights. She has been profiled or appeared in We, Magazine for Women, Central Penn Business Journal, Curve Magazine, Rolling Stone, TIME, and many other media.

Ms. Storm is the author of Blackout Girl: Growing Up and Drying Out in America (Hazelden, 2008) and the follow-up memoir, Leave the Light On: A Memoir of Recovery and Self-Discovery (Central Recovery Press, 2010).

Buy the book here: http://www.amazon.com/Picking-Pieces-without-Guidebook-Victimization/dp/1936290642/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1322856856&sr=1-3

Are you a recovery hero?

admin — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 21:30:51 +0000

Submitted by MrClean on December 2, 2011

A Recovery Hero is someone who is proud to be in recovery. Becoming a Recovery Hero is another way to give back to those suffering from any addiction.

Being a Recovery Hero will help researchers help others by providing, on an anonymous and confidential basis, crucial information about your recovery success.

Through your success stories, Recovery Heroes offer inspiration to those struggling with addiction.

If you have been in recovery from an addiction—whether to alcohol, drugs, tobacco, gambling, sex, or any harmful behavior—for at least a year, we invite you to register as a Recovery Hero.

It takes only a minute to become a Recovery Hero and it could potentially save lives.

The National Quit & Recovery Registry, a nonprofit research collaboration, is not affiliated with any treatment facility or fellowship.

InTheRooms is honored to be asked to be a part of this groundbreaking project.

Click here for more info on the study: http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/arti…

Click here to become a recovery hero now!

ITR Cartoon: Sole Purpose

admin — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 22:52:08 +0000

Submitted by BenBen The Fisherman on November 23, 2011

An Angry, Bitter Person

admin — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 22:51:21 +0000

Submitted by by Recovering Angel on November 23, 2011

My spouse called me an angry, bitter person last night. It had been a long time since anybody had called me that… to my face.

I was deeply hurt. The best I managed to do was to call him a coward. Hurt people hurt people, right?

Over the past two years I’ve been working hard on transforming myself into a compassionate and loving person. And to be called an angry, bitter person was unexpected.

We decided we needed a time out so I proceeded to go to sleep. I said my prayers but I was too upset. My spouse was already fast asleep while I was resentful at him. How rude!

I figured out what my part was in this but I was not ready to let it go. I knew I had to apologize but my head started to spin with thoughts like “He never admits when he’s wrong!”, “He doesn’t appreciate me”, “Why should I take the first step?”

I realized I should have taken the first step because I no longer want to be right all the time, I want to be happy; because I appreciate my peace of mind over keeping score.

I wish I could tell you that I took the first step. I wish I could tell you that I did not tell him to get away from me when he tried to spoon me in the morning.

I still refuse to be defined by my behavior. I am not an angry, bitter person; I am a human being who doesn’t anguish endlessly for not being perfect anymore.

Did I make a mistake? Yes.
Does that make me a horrible human being? No.

I got up from bed to make amends but he had already left. I called him but got his voicemail. I guess I’ll be eating crow later on.

Finding a Light in All That Darkness!!!

admin — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 22:50:55 +0000

Submitted by Ronnie on November 23, 2011

To wake up and live through another day clean and sober is to see life a with a whole new attitude. I marvel at my new-found freedom, freedom from the bondage of drug abuse that is. My days are so much brighter, my nights so much easier and overall just a beautiful thing to live another day sober.

I didn’t have to lie or steal to make it through the day, I didn’t have to stress about money to get drugs yet another day, and that my friends, is a true miracle within itself. I look back at where I was this time a few years ago and I don’t ever want to be at that place again. Always struggling to find my next fix, lying to my family, hiding out in my bedroom so I didn’t have to explain myself to anyone. I was in complete and total hell and felt there was no way out at all.

I had said this prayer many times asking God to let me wake up tomorrow and make it through the day (just one day) without having to go get high. I had prayed it every night for the prior two years to this particular night in focus and not once did it work. Little did I know, its because I wasn’t ready for it to work. What would make me think it would work this time? This time I was sincere, it had meaning within it. God could see and feel the pain and struggle in my heart, with my heart telling me to get sober and my brain telling me to get high. What a struggle, a struggle that continues throughout the process of being sober.

I went through three of the worst weeks of my life during a cold-turkey heroin detox with no meds, no nothing to take the edge off. I locked myself in my bedroom and didn’t leave it for the entire time except to use the bathroom and after about 6 days into it, to eat the little bit I could eat. I had fought my hardest battle in life and I was struggling, but I was doing it.

Little did I know this would be a life-long battle that would follow me until the day I die. I made it through the detox and put myself into a 90-day in-house rehab center to learn about the disease of addiction and to overcome the “sickness” as we addicts call it. That my friends, is the exact thing that keeps me sober day in and day out is the hell that I went through getting clean. The constant reminder of a detox without medicine stays in my mind on a daily basis. The first thing I do every morning when I wake up is thank God for giving me another day sober and remind myself of just how easily it could snatch me up and send me right back where I once was not so long ago.

Yet, I am no saint, I relapsed after about 9 months into my recovery and went back at it stronger than ever for another whole year and once again found myself at the same place I was before–only worse. So, I did it again and fought through the sickness with another no-medication detox and have been clean ever since and intend to stay this way. When my disease starts kicking my ass and tries to take over, I get on my knees and I pray to my higher power and he takes me right back to that hell I was in and reminds me of the pain and sickness that I went through, not once but twice and it snaps me back into reality and helps keep me sober yet another day.

When you are ready to start living again, just look for an AA or an NA or any kind of sobriety meeting and go in there and look around and find someone that has what you want and go for it, don’t hesitate, go for it!!! They will help you, your higher power will help you and any of us millions of recovering addicts will do all we can to help you get your life back!!!!!

Coming Soon: Daily Video Meetings

admin — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 22:50:25 +0000

Submitted by TheDotMack on November 23, 2011

InTheRooms is planning to ramp up the amount of video meetings we have. Right now, we have an AA and an NA meeting, 2 total meetings per week.

Starting December 7, 2011, we are going to have at minimum 1 AA and 1 NA video meeting per day. This means that a lot of spots for chairpersons are open, and we need your support.

If you have 3 years in recovery or more, please fill out this form and let us know you’re interested in helping out!

http://intherooms.wufoo.com/forms/video-meeting-chairperson-volunteer-form/

Thanks and with love,
The InTheRooms Team

ITR Cartoon: Your Will

admin — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 23:35:44 +0000

Submitted by BenBen The Fisherman on November 18, 2011

My lessons in sobriety

admin — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 23:34:29 +0000

Submitted by Sara on November 18, 2011

As a truly grateful new writer to Addictions Magazine, I would like to share my experience in sobriety with you. When I first came to recovery, I was a failed suicide attempt and a wreck. I had just undergone emergency surgery and while I was recovering, I had time to take stock of my life. I knew I had to do something to stop my drinking or surely I would be doomed to either death or insanity?

At my first AA meeting, I related to the desperation of the newcomers who shared and I wanted what the old timers had to say. Hope kept me coming back for more. I am truly grateful to have had a wonderful sponsor who encouraged me through the steps and pushed me to get them done timeously. I accepted my fate of alcoholism and unmanageability and I became willing to believe in a higher power. Step 4 took me on a journey through all the fears resentments and harms done in my past. I came to realize that perhaps I was a part of my own self destruction. I had not seen my character defects which had been buried in my alcoholic thinking and subsequent irrational behaviour. The harsh reality hit me that all those people that I had blamed for my problems were perhaps only doing the best that they could under the circumstances. I believe that real amends are made in time by staying on the road to recovery. The smiles and hugs from my kids today is the greatest reward I could ever achieve. And somewhere along this roller coaster journey, the desire to drink was lifted. This surely was divine intervention for no human power had been successful before.

Recovery never ends – it is constant work. I know that I need to change my thinking and actions in order to succeed:

Should resentments surface – I must turn them into love tolerance and patience;

With fear – I have to ask God to help me find the courage to do the things I can;

I have to always be honest with myself and everyone around me;

I must put any pride aside and stay humble;

When I am in doubt, use the serenity prayer;

Live just for today, one day at a time;

And most of all I must forgive myself as I forgive those who trespass against me.

My goal is to pay it forward and be the best writer and sponsor that I can be. I am finally feeling secure in my sobriety but I must never get over confident and I have to remember where I come from. I always try to keep a little window open to my past to remind me of this. I never ever want to go back there again.

The words of Dr. David Stewart from his book “Thirst for freedom” perhaps say it all:

“Few people realize that sobriety is an action of insights and skills far beyond mere abstinence. Sobriety is a creative discipline in the art of freedom of growth and of love. To be your self is to become yourself.”

Do the Thing You Are Afraid to Do

admin — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 23:33:38 +0000

Submitted by JoyceL on November 18, 2011

For me, fear was the thing that kept me trapped in my comfort zone. Fear of change, fear of rejection, fear of consequences, fear of being misunderstood. My fears kept me small. Often, my fears (particularly of consequences) drove me to lie. I often felt I had something to give the world, but I just couldn’t muster the courage to burst out of my comfort zone.

Courage is not the absence of fear; courage is being afraid and doing it anyway.

And when you do it anyway, that’s where the miracles are. Things you never imagined will happen.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

–Marianne Williamson

Step out of your comfort zone. Do the thing you are afraid to do.

Looking in the mirror – 35 years sober with a *

admin — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 23:33:05 +0000

Submitted by JoeC on November 18, 2011

I celebrate 35 years with an asterisk this month. 35 years ago I hit my false bottom.

Brown-nosers are complicit in the fraud of education promulgated by school teachers, addiction councillors and fellow 12 & 12 Members. It doesn’t matter to me if it’s a Grade 3 class-room, a treatment center or an AA meeting; I think there is a tendency to reward the wrong people. We reward those who stroke us and we condemn those who irritate us. Are the ones who feed back everything we say, getting it? Is someone who doesn’t seem to pay attention or who says, “This is crap!” not being reached?

I was a perfectionist when I got to the rooms. Below the surface, I felt unworthy. I was as uncomfortable as hell and I wasn’t going to tell you about it. I thought the program was full of shit but I wasn’t going to balk. I could see that compliant newcomers got applauded. I may have hated your guts but I needed your approval. So I learned to behave like an obedient pet. You patted me on the back when I said the right things and you scolded me when I doubted. I learned that the easiest way to hide was in plain view. If I resisted, I would draw scrutiny and the wrong kind of attention. If I could memorize “How It Works,” or set up the chairs you gave me “the good stuff.” Together we created a completely inauthentic power of example $3 bill. That was me. Soon I was sponsoring people and I was still full of shit. My sobriety became a currency and I didn’t want to lose it. The more I accumulated the more false pride I displayed. I bought my bullshit and so did you.

In the case of addicts, apathy, restlessness and relapse aren’t a sign of insincerity any more than daydreaming in grade school is a sign of mental handicaps. In a classroom, kids that fall behind get blamed and the teacher gets pitied. Often it’s the trouble makers with the higher IQs and the compliant ones getting the approval.

I think that only the addict that resists or kicks up a fuss in meetings is transforming. Speaking for myself, every time I said, “You know, you are right, it’s me and I need to change,” that may have got you patting yourself on the back, thinking you got through to me. If I said, “Are you out of your mind; you’re an ass,” you may have been communicating to me.

We reward the newcomer with strokes and approval when they get active and/or parrot back the same tired clichés we have been feeding them. We warn the defiant ones and we might secretly wish they did go back out and stopped bugging us. I say one of these newcomers is bullshitting us and the other one is authentic. Now if bullshit is the road to good living and authenticity is an outdated quality then I am out of my mind.

But I notice people being stunned when a goody-two-shoes gets drunk or when disagreeable drunks get sober. This makes perfect sense to me. Recovery is uncomfortable and counter-intuitive. If we say we like it, we are lying about other things too. The only counties with a heightened sense of national pride and identity are nation-states that have survived civil war. We appreciate what we fight for. If we haven’t left some skin in the game, we take things for granted.

Quitting drugs and booze for me was a false bottom. I got sober as a teenager, was “helping newcomer” when I didn’t know my ass from a hole in the ground and by the time I was 20 I was promoted as a great power of example. I felt like a total phoney but I wasn’t going to say anything; I was addicted to the approval. Actors might feel the way I felt. People loved me for the roles I played which compounded the loneliness of neither them nor I knowing who I was.

My true bottom came from my sex and intimacy disorder. In 1993 I was introduced to SLAA after two consecutive boy-meets girl on AA campus, child birth, followed by divorce, fiascos. The harm I had already caused myself and others was undeniably a sign of a man in crisis. I was a good dad, but not a perfect dad. I was a nice guy but a deceitful lover. I was the architect of my own misfortune but I talked like the victim of a serious of bad breaks and serious misunderstandings. Either I had to face being a phoney for over 15 years or delegate the blame. I demonized my ex’s, they reciprocated and it was “life during wartime,” where there is no time for honest reflection or vulnerability. Survival is the game. I am sorry to say that wasn’t my bottom.

Somehow, taking my pleasure was an understanding folly for a power of example like me. The more disastrous my life got, the more laughs I got in AA meetings. They may have been laughing with me, they may have been laughing at me, but no one was holding me accountable. Some are sicker than others and some are sicker than they know. I was suffocating from positive reinforcement.

My behaviour got riskier, I found new lows for my values and the bottom came. I take some credit for righting the ship, but the catalyst was a sponsor that loved me so much he called me on my shit. He confronted me about my “nice guy,” façade. Why was all this happening to such a nice guy?

It turned out I wasn’t so understanding, I was demanding, I wasn’t so empathetic, I was hostile. I wasn’t so self-aware, I hated myself. I wasn’t such a nice guy, I was desperate, afraid, and manipulative. I was deluded.

Peer to peer recovery will unlock mysteries for the seeker, all the while, enabling the escape artist. It is a selfish program, which means no one can or will save me. No one can or will stand in the way of claiming my right to recovery. I am responsible and nothing happens until I am accountable.

Over seven years ago I started again, working with my sponsor, going to SLAA and AA meetings, I needed more so I found the right therapies and therapists (not as simple as googling “unmet needs” and making a phone call). I traded “what sounds good” for what I really believe. There were many processes that lead to greater self-awareness that I had either dismissed as quackery in the past, or skimmed through the book to pick up the vocabulary and told people, “Oh, I have been there, done that.”

It is the best of worlds it is the worst of worlds, today. My son and have a remarkable relationship that when people say, “you should be grateful…” I feel that to the core. He is becoming a man right in front of me, 22 years old and working hard in University. I haven’t seen my daughter, Jesse’s ½-sister since Sigourney was just under Two years of age. Her mother abducted our daughter, became a fugitive of the law, and I have been searching for them both since 1993. Every day I awake a father of two, but it is hard to resolve that the years lost to Sigourney, me and the whole patrilineal side of her family are gone and cannot be reclaimed. She turned 20 this fall. “When you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with,” takes on a new meaning when you are a longing parent. There is no shortage of fatherless children that can benefit from a role model and someone who shows up for them. None of these replace the loss, but you can’t store the love, I might as well use it.

Today I have an 11 year old boy whom I am a step-father to. His own father has come back into his life and in a serendipitous way, this wouldn’t have happened if the boy and I hadn’t come together. We do finally see how our experience can benefit others. I don’t agree with every doctrine of Buddhism but they got this right: Suffering is the only path to enlightenment. I don’t know how I could have got here, if not for there.

I often drifted away from AA in my pain and acting out. In my neck of the woods we celebrate anniversaries every five years. I never took my 20 year medallion (which is funny considering I was preparing my speech dating back to year-two), got pretty much corralled into doing my 25th and avoided my 30th. I was depressed and I didn’t feel like, or want to be paraded out as, a “power of example.”

Today I am not ashamed of my flaws. To err is human and I feel more human that I have ever been. I am going to take this 35 year medallion because I earned it, it means a lot to my home group and those who love me. I am an example. I am no cliché but I have a story that matters – the story of the fallen angle that stayed a little longer and tried a little harder. I never found nirvana, I still search for my daughter, but I have found my humanity and for that I am grateful.

ITR Cartoon: Clean Pickin

admin — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 23:09:24 +0000

Submitted by BenBen The Fisherman on November 11, 2011

Special and Different

admin — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 23:08:29 +0000

Submitted by Penny on November 11, 2011

It has been a while since I last wrote for the ITR Magazine and I have missed it.

However, this has been a really helpful time for me in many ways. I realised something very important, I don’t expect anyone to understand me. This is on a very deep level and not even conscious, it is something that is so old it just feels normal and true.

Then, I remembered something someone once said to me, ‘sorry to tell you, you are not special and different’!

I was taken aback really, firstly because I did not know what they were talking about, and secondly because I truely believed I was. Not in an arrogant way, although later it can be seen I guess as arrogant, but because for me, nobody got me, apart from my Grandma I now realise, when I was growing up. She never told me, but she did things, little things, that somehow made me feel safe on a very subtle level. Other than that I was always told I was crazy, that I was attention seeking and every-time I tried to connect I was shut down and told to get on with it. I longed for a warm embrace, someone to listen to me and just get me, someone who would say, when I asked them why they were late again and I had waited hours, sometimes days, that they are so sorry and how hard it must have been for me. Instead I got, what is your problem, get on with it, I am here now arn’t I!!

All this has contributed to me feeling very special and very different, and it is an awakening every day when someone gets me. I have to say though, I shut down, I shut myself down and now I am realising that when people don’t get me, it is not because I am wrong or bad or stupid or any of the other things, it is just because they don’t. However, others do!! This is a revelation for me.

I have truely believed that nobody would understand me, so I stopped telling anyone what was wrong, I stopped sharing my feelings and I stuffed them with whatever I could. I made choices based on my own experiences, of people not getting me or wanting to be there for me and help me. I am slowly changing, with the right people around me. I need a lot of loving and slow awakening to begin to come out of what has felt like a living hell. I think now it is one of the reasons I write, I have to get it out and it is so incredible when people tell me they get it.

So yes, I am special and different, but I am also begining to realise I am not alone. It can be said in a rather derogatory way,’ you are not special and different’, but actually, I believe that until we find like minded people and have the courage to share our stuff, we do not know. Growing up, feeling alone, not being understood and being around people who do not know how to help you, does, in my humble opinion contribute towards people, me, feeling very special and different. I left home feeling like if I told anyone my thoughts and ideas, they would laugh at me, so why would I tell anyone anything? Thank God this is changing.

Finding A Light in all that Darkness!!!

admin — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 23:05:19 +0000

Submitted by Ronnie on November 11, 2011

To wake up and live through another day clean and sober, is to see life a with a whole new attitude. I marvel at my new found freedom, freedom from the bondage of drug abuse that is. My days are so much brighter, my nights so much easier and overall just a beautiful thing to live another day sober.

I had said this prayer many times asking God to let me wake up tomorrow and make it through the day (just one day) without having to go get high. I had prayed it every night for the prior two years to this particular night in focus and not once did it work. Little did I know, its cause I wasn’t ready for it to work. What would make me think it would work this time? This time I was sincere, it had meaning within it. God could see and feel the pain and struggle in my heart, with my heart telling me to get sober and my brain telling me to get high. What a struggle, a struggle that continues throughout the process of being sober.

I woke up the following morning and I had my mind made up that this boy has seen his last “buzz” in a long while, hopefully forever. Let’s not get to far ahead though, let me take this slow and just make it through this day, just this one day and when tomorrow comes we can work on it when it gets here. I was uneducated about one day at a time, about anything having to do with sobriety and recovery as far as that goes. I was sick, sick as you can possibly get and I wanted dope so bad but I fought and i struggled through it for three whole weeks. Sick, so sick I couldn’t even muster up the energy to crawl out of bed, so sick that I wanted to die rather than feel the pain I was feeling. I went through three of the worst weeks of my life during a cold-turkey heroin detox with no meds, no nothing to take the edge off. I locked myself in my bedroom and didn’t leave it for the entire time except to use the bathroom and after about 6 days into it, to eat the little bit I could eat. I had fought my hardest battle in life and I was struggling, but I was doing it.

Little did I know this would be a life-long battle that would follow me until the day I die. I made it through the detox and put myself into a 90 day in house rehab center to learn about the disease of addiction and to overcome the “sickness” as we addicts call it. That my friends, is the exact thing that keeps me sober day in and day out is the hell that I went through getting clean. The constant reminder of a detox without medicine stays in my mind on a daily basis. The first thing I do every morning when I wake up is thank God for giving me another day sober and remind myself of just how easily it could snatch me up and send me right back where I once was not so long ago.

Yet, I am no saint, I relapsed after about 9 months into my recovery and went back at it stronger than ever for another whole year and once again found myself at the same place I was before-only worse. So, I did it again and fought through the sickness with another no medication detox and have been clean ever since and intend to stay this way. When my disease starts kicking my ass and tries to take over, I get on my knees and I pray to my higher power and he takes me right back to that hell I was in and reminds me of the pain and sickness that I went through, not once-but twice and it snaps me back into reality and helps keep me sober yet another day.

There is a whole new life waiting for those of you who are still suffering with this disease, and I promise you it won’t be easy to fight your way through it, but when you do, do it, it is totally worth it!!!! I can promise you that after the sickness is over that it gets better, way better!!! I can only hope that you to will find your way to living again. There is a lot of help out there if you only seek it out. That’s the best thing about it all is that you don’t have to do it alone! You have the millions of people whom came before you standing behind you, backing you 100% of the time. When you are ready to start living again, just look for an AA or an NA or any kind of sobriety meeting and go in there and look around and find someone that has what you want and go for it, don’t hesitate, go for it!!! They will help you, your higher power will help you and any of us millions of recovering addicts will do all we can to help you get your life back!!!!!

“that” person…

admin — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 23:04:11 +0000

Submitted by AmyG on November 11, 2011

Insult to injury leads to broken noses.

oh wait. I’m non-violent. (damn Buddhism and damn recovery. I can’t get away with that these days.)

Throw away people. I was one of those today. You know the kind that sit in waiting rooms asking for those “hand outs”. The kind that have three children to care for and isn’t used to NEEDING help. The kind of person that sits and waits and waits and waits (eight hours worth) only to leave empty handed because of incompetence. The kind of woman, who would die for her children, and pretty much almost did die of shame for asking for a measly $350 worth of firewood assistance.

Why? Well I could go into a litany of not receiving child support regularly, not being able to utilize my college degree in an area that has no funding for “that stupid therapy stuff. You don’t need no damn counselor just buck up and drink this here moonshine.”, being stuck and struggling to make ends meet, and NOT used to being fiscally challenged (politically correct if you please).

I wanted to scream to everyone up in that joint… I’m smart. I’m capable. I’m not THIS person. I’m NOT a victim. I’m in sales and I’m good at it. I’M A WRITER ON THE VERGE OF MAKING IT. I’m NOT looking for handouts. It took everything I had to sit in that chair. Everything. No one would have cared. I know this. Very few people really do. They didn’t notice my trembling lower lip and pained expression. One guy even asked if I worked there.

Several tears rolled down the pink of my cheek and dripped off my chin after that comment.

I really despise asking for help. I mean I LOATHE it. And to add insult to injury… to be treated as a number and then turned away? Gah. The lady handed me a paper with the number of our congressman and stated, “You don’t like it. Call this guy. Don’t talk to me about it.”

The parking lot was littered with those fliers. Hundreds of them crumpled up into balls with a proverbial fuck you written all over them.

So I have two choices here. Continue to feel humiliated? Or allow the real valued emotion of humility (being no better or worse than anyone else) to wash through me. Stay mad and beat myself up for asking for a one time “handout” which would help make my daughter’s lives a little better? Or accept that even though my life doesn’t look like I want it to at the moment…

I’ll have some seriously fucking awesome life experience to share. To another woman in recovery… going through the same thing. Being able to understand HER trembling bottom lip and tear stained cheeks… and knowing exactly just what to say.

There is beauty in the struggle. I just know it. Recovery tells me this is so.

ITR Cartoon

admin — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 22:10:00 +0000

Submitted by BenBen The Fisherman on November 4, 2011

Accepting that I am not God

admin — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 22:08:31 +0000

Submitted by Tami on November 4, 2011

This is tough for me to write but not as tough as it was to see it or accept. (My sponsor is going to be thrilled. LOL )

I finished Step 4 in Al-Anon a few weeks ago. One of the things that was revealed to me during this process is that I have a habit of trying to be another person’s Higher Power. And I tried to deny if over and over again. My sponsor even asked me a year ago, “Do you believe he has a higher power? And do you think you’re it?” I immediately answered, “No.” because I knew I wasn’t it. But, boy, did I sure try to be.

In my relationships with my qualifiers, when they were struggling, I often felt dismissed or unimportant when they wouldn’t lean on me for comfort and share with me their trials. I felt they were trying to keep something from me or keep me at arm’s reach which led to trust issues in the relationship. I felt if he would share what was going on with me, then I could help him work through anything! So, my focus became them- which also made the relationship my Higher Power for a time. It was a vicious cycle. If he was OK, then I was OK. But I had to make sure he stayed OK so that I could be as well.

This is how I envision the conversation between my Higher Power and my qualifiers’:

“You know, your girl Tami is trying to take my place again.”

“(Sigh) I know. We’re working on that.”

“You want me to remove her from the equation?”

“No, not yet. I need her to be able to see it herself if she’s ever going to break this cycle.”

I laid a firm foundation in Step 2 and 3, when I came to believe and trust my Higher Power. Step 4 revealed the things I needed to work on and improve in order to benefit from those two steps. The revelation that I feel the need to save my qualifiers from their lives of misery was powerful and disheartening. A veil had been lifted. My Higher Power knew what was happening well before I did. It was a humbling experience to see that perhaps they weren’t removed from my life so I could get better, but maybe I was removed from their lives so their Higher Power could do the work in them that I was interfering with.

Either way, I am grateful for a power greater than myself which is unfailing and ready for the job. My goals, now, are to continue to tap into my Higher Power and put my full trust in Him while I apply the principles of the Al-Anon program to my daily life. I am also taking at least a six-month hiatus from any intimate relationships to give my Higher Power and I time to sort some things out.

Original Post: http://www.intherooms.com/addiction/accepting-that-i-am-not-god/

Video Meeting Stats from our first 2 weeks

admin — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 22:06:47 +0000

Submitted by TheDotMack on November 4, 2011

In the first 2 weeks of having just 2 meetings a week, 7,644 people attended our online video meetings!

People in 57 countries banded together in recovery solidarity to make this platform launch more successful then we ever thought possible: Argentina, Australia, Bahrain, Bangladesh, Belgium, Bhutan, Brazil, Bulgaria, Canada, Costa Rica, Denmark, Dominica, Dominican Republic, Egypt, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Greenland, Greenland, Guam, India, Iran, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Japan, Kazakhstan, Kuwait, Lithuania, Malaysia, Mexico, Nepal, Netherlands, New Zealand, Nicaragua, Norway, Pakistan, Panama, Poland, Portugal, Puerto Rico, Saudi Arabia, Serbia, Singapore, South Africa, Sweden, Switzerland, Thailand, Trinidad and Tobago, Turkey, Ukraine, United Arab Emirates, United Kingdom, United States, Venezuela, and Vietnam!

Did you attend one of these meetings? What do you think? Do you have any suggestions on how to improve them?

Thanks and with love,
The InTheRooms Team

ITR Book of The Month: Gringa in a Strange Land

admin — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 22:04:26 +0000

Submitted by jazzylinda on November 4, 2011

Gringa in a Strange Land brings back the “counterculture” of the early 70’s, an exhilarating and confusing time for so many young people then. Erica Mason, an American woman living in Mexico, is torn between working to become an artist and the lure of the drug culture. Set mostly in the colonial city of Merida in the Yucatan peninsula, the story then moves among Mayan ruins, laid-back beaches and the cities of Belize and Oaxaca. A host of bohemian expats and Mexicans, and the complex character of Mexico itself, infuse this portrait-of-the-artist-as-a-young-American, that culminates in an unexpected resolution.

“Gringa” is doing great! I get feedback all the time from readers who love the difficult moody main character Erica Mason and her adventures.
“Gringa in a Strange Land” received an award as of February 2011: 2010 Writers in the Sky Award for the Best Creative Writing of the Year

Linda Dahl has written extensively about Latin America, jazz, New Orleans and other topics that interest her over a thirty year career as a published author. She has lived in Ecuador, Brazil, Mexico, and New York and currently lives in an old farmhouse with lots of flowers and pets. A widow, she has a daughter and a stepson.

Visit Linda’s Profile on InTheRooms: jazzylinda

Buy the book here: http://www.amazon.com/Gringa-Strange-Land-Linda-Dahl/dp/1934759392

ITR Cartoon: RT Revival

admin — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 22:12:47 +0000

Submitted by BenBen The Fisherman on October 28, 2011

Crossroads

admin — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 22:11:37 +0000

Submitted by Ronnie on October 28, 2011

I wrote this after I had relapsed and was once again going through a cold-turkey heroin detox. I wanted so badly to get back to that place I once was and that place was sobriety….

CROSSROADS

We all have choices on which paths to take in life. There are hard times and there are easy times. I believe no matter which paths we choose this is the case. Although, if we choose the right paths, we will have a lot less of the harder times. I chose a path which led me to a life of drugs, crimes and lies. A path which led to my self-destruction, my self-pity and my selfish attitude. I told lie after lie, hurt person after person and would steal from my own family if I knew I could use it to get high.

What a miserable life, if you can even call it living that is. I thought I was ok, living a dream, taking the easy way out. I thought everything was under control. Numb, complete numbness is all I felt. No feelings of shame, guilt nothing whatsoever. Euphoria is what we addicts like to call it. But, really is it? That’s a question I ask myself and as I continue to grow in sobriety, my answer continually changes. It started with a simple yes-euphoria-what a great way to explain that rush I got every time I stuck that needle in my arm and plunged that heroin straight to my heart. I think at first, it is the best feeling in the world. It makes me impervious to anyone or anything. I am on top of the world and I can do anything I want. Then, all of the sudden it wears off, reality kicks in nothing has changed and nothing was accomplished. My mind is going crazy. Where can I get money, who can I lie to or who can I steal from to go get high. These are a few of the many thoughts running through an addicts head long before the buzz wears off.

It’s a chase, a hunt an obsession that after you cross over that line you have no control over it at all. It takes you places you never thought or would ever want to think of going to. It makes you do stuff no-one in their right mind would ever dream of doing.

Is that really a life, constantly thinking about how your going to get your next fix. Whether your high or not your mind is continually circling all of these racing thoughts in who you can manipulate today to get what you need. Which member of my family can I use their love for me as a tool to get high. I don’t want to live this way, I don’t have to live this way, and I won’t live this way anymore. I have to take control back, my disease has hurt me enough. My addiction has pushed me into the pitts of hell and now I have to find a way back. I don’t want to be in pain anymore, I don’t want to put my loved ones through pain anymore and most of all I don’t want to live in the pitts of hell anymore. That is exactly where I am living when I am in the center of my addiction, when I let my disease take control again.

There is only one absolute requirement and that’s is the willingness, the want to stay sober. I have that willingness, that want, now what am I going to do about it. The decision is mine, I can choose any path that I want. When choosing though, I ask myself, which path leads to happiness? Which leads to living and not dying? Which leads to a productive lifestyle? These are just a few of the never-ending questions that enter into my ever-changing mind. The choice should be easy, should be clear and shouldn’t take any time at all. But, you see, I have this disease that wants to be fed, that urges to be indulged. It alters my thinking, it changes my mind at the flip of a switch. My disease snatches me up and says “the easy way out is to go get high.” It says “you will never beat me”. Now, see, here I am standing at a crossroads asking myself which way do I go. Do I continue to take the easy way out and let this thing kill me or do I want to take the path that will lead to unforeseen futures and endless possibilities.

Am I strong enough to over power this disease. Maybe not alone, but with a higher powers help and your help, you bet I am. That’s the great thing about it all, I don’t have to do it alone. If I choose the “easy way out” and let this disease win, I am all alone in my own miserable little world. Now, on the other hand, I can choose that path that requires a little work, a little effort and a whole lot of changes. Now on this path, I have you, I have a higher power and I have help. You would think this was the easier path wouldn’t you? I don’t have an answer for that right now, but one day I will. My disease tells me to just go get high, that will fix everything, that will make it all better.

Now, here I am standing at that crossroads to make that choice again. I can’t allow myself to give into my disease. I can’t feed my addiction with unnecessary thoughts that lead down a one way path back to hell, and sooner than later to death.

By: Ronnie Colvin Jr

ORIGINAL POST: http://www.intherooms.com/addiction/cros…

Flexing Your Humor Muscle - Featuring Mark Lundholm

admin — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 22:09:58 +0000

Submitted by RT on October 28, 2011

Flexing Your Humor Muscle
Featuring Mark Lundholm

Thursday, November 3
7:00PM to 9:00PM
Delray Beach Marriott • Delray Beach, FL
10 North Ocean

Creator of DVD series Humor in Treatment; lectured, presented and appeared at over 300 professionals’ conferences, had his own Showtime Comedy Special, appeared on Comedy Central and has written and starred in three one-man shows.

Attendees will be reminded about their priorities, principles and above all a passion for their work, purpose for their life and the power to do it all.

To reserve your FREE space, call 800-441-5569 or email Lorriek at hcibooks.com

Your ITR Story: Contest Winner

admin — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 22:09:01 +0000

Submitted by no_more_no_les on October 28, 2011

Hello, my name is Les, and I am an alcoholic.

If I was to describe how I was introduced to intherooms.com, I would have to say that, “God was doing for me what I could not do for myself.” My profile was built for me by a very dear friend of mine and in many ways by a person who I believe was one of God’s Angels.

I was on the road driving truck and one of my sponsee’e called me up and told me about a Recovery Site she found, and she made me a profile, and it would be great for me, because I was on the road, and I could help so many people and, and, and, and,,, And I told her I never had a computer, nor did I even know how to use one. I also told her that I didn’t think it would be for me, as I am kinda, “Old school.” Her name was Annie, and on here she was and_it_is_annie, and then she told me, that I could have her laptop when she died. Annie had cancer and she knew she was dying.

I could see that I was hurting Annie with all my negativity about on-line recovery, so I decided I would share her enthusiasm with the site. She was so happy, and proud that she was helping me, (she never did know how much she had helped me through our time together.)

I asked her, why did you give me the name no_more_no_les, and all she said was, “God will show you.” She told me about the people that would offer her support, and encourage her to keep going. When she was nearer to the end, she lost her ability to see, and I would read the comments to her and she would have me reply the comments that were left for her. I think she knew I was crying most of the time, because she would say to me, “It will be OK, God has a plan,” and to think I thought I was sponsoring her.

Annie never knew this but my health was starting to fail. My blood pressure was getting uncontrollable, I had some lumps in places where people should not have lumps. And I was going for surgery for a hernia. I could not have ever let Annie know that, because she did not need the burden of worrying about me, and I know she would have.

I had to go back on the road, so a very good friend of Annie’s came to be with her. His name was Rob, and he was the guy that killed Annie’s parents when she was 14 years old. Rob was drunk when he got involved in a car crash that killed Annie’s Mother and Father.

I found Annie some years later on the side of the highway and took her to a meeting and she never went back out. In turn it was Annie that found and forgave Rob, and brought him into AA. Rob has never went back out.

It was around November 11, 2009, Rob called me and told me that he thought I had better came home. He told me that Annie wanted me to be there. She knew she was dying and wanted to tell me something.

I came home and as hard as it was for me, I went to see her. It was hard for me, because I had witnessed my wife pass away from cancer.

Annie made me promise to her that I was to stay on this site and I was to try and help people the way she said I helped her. She told me that I am not to grieve her passing, but to share her story. And she told me that there will be thousands of people that will come here intherooms.com) and that people need to know Hope and find Forgiveness. Then Annie smiled and told me how much I helped her, and that she would pray for me.

It was that night that Annie gave me her Big Book, with all her scribbled notes and thoughts in it. Inside it was her step 4, crushed rose, and a picture of her when she was around 6 years old, with her mom and dad. And she gave me her first year medallion.

On November 13TH Annie gave me her laptop and told me I was to stay on this site. She said that even when I get frustrated with it, I am to stay. When I get upset with the computer, I am to learn. And then the last thing she told me, was “Please show the people the Hope, you showed me.”

Annie passed away the next day, November 14TH, 2009.

Some time after Annie’s passing, I was searching in YouTube and I found this song No more no less, by Mercy Me. It does mean lots to me, because when I asked Annie, “Why that name,” she said to me “God will show you.”

I think about Annie everyday, and all the blessings she has given me. But I think the biggest blessing for me was when she introduced me to intherooms.com.

I do not know if I have ever helped anyone here, but I do know that everyone has helped me, and thank you.

God Bless each and everyone of you, now and forever.

Les…

ITR Cartoon: Sharing

admin — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 19:11:16 +0000

Submitted by BenBen The Fisherman on October 21, 2011

A Tribute To Mike DeStefano

admin — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 19:10:02 +0000

Submitted by Cris Italia on October 21, 2011

An all-star tribute to the late Mike DeStefano, Featuring Colin Quinn, Eugene Mirman, Rich Vos, Robert Kelly, Roy Wood Jr., Bonnie McFarlane and many more special guests.

In March of 2011 the comedy world was dealt a crushing blow as beloved New York City comedian Mike DeStefano suffered a fatal heart attack. A recovering addict who dealt with and overcame many tragedies throughout his life, Mike dedicated his existence towards helping others through the gift of stand-up comedy. Always candid and genuine, Mike always wore his heart on his sleeve and managed to touch so many people’s lives by being incredibly honest & caring towards whomever he crossed paths with.

In addition to a great lineup of comedy, this event will feature rare footage of Mike DeStefano as well as tributes from friends and family. Please join us for a special night as we tribute and remember a truly talented and gifted person that the comedy world misses dearly.

Please buy Tickets tickets in advance at Laughstub.com
http://www.laughstub.com/buyTicket.cfm?showTimingID=101427&buy

$35 for Orchestra Seating
$25 for Mezzanine

All proceeds from this event will fund the Mike DeStefano Foundation dedicated to recovery and wellness.

Get more info at mikedestefano.com

OmaPrem Free Trial for ITR Members with Chronic Pain

admin — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 19:09:11 +0000

Submitted by MrClean on October 21, 2011

This week we sent out an email asking for 75 people in chronic pain who wished to participate in a free OmaPrem trial. We got almost 1,000 responses! When we told the good people at OmaPrem what had happened, they graciously extended the free trial to everyone that responded before midnight on the first day. That means that over 867 people will be getting the product for free! All that they are asking is that people respond to their survey’s HONESTLY as to how they’re doing with managing their pain. The first group of 75 people had a 70% success rate on the product and they believe that the more people that try the product, the more people that will recommend it to others.

I can speak first hand about OmaPrem, because I was practically crippled with chronic pain in my knee 6 months ago, and now my knee is totally without pain… not even a twinge! In fact, I was already approved for a full knee replacement that is not necessary today (its a one day at a time thing). OmaPrem has been a wonderful supporter of InTheRooms, but if the product didn’t work, both RT and I would have turned down their money (we have turned away others)! We are very grateful that the people at OmaPrem understand how important it is for people in recovery to have an alternative to opiates when dealing with chronic pain issues. I’m looking forward to the results of this second trial.

LIVE Online Video Meetings now available on InTheRooms.com

admin — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 19:08:25 +0000

Submitted by TheDotMack on October 21, 2011

Hi everyone. We have a gift for you.

InTheRooms has spent the past year planning, developing, and testing a brand new technology for carrying the message of recovery online.

Now Playing: InTheRooms LIVE Global 12 Step Video Meetings. Yes folks, the meetings we’ve been testing the past few months will now be regularly scheduled.

For starters, we’re going to have an AA meeting on Tuesdays and an NA meeting on Thursdays at 10PM eastern time, 7PM pacific (for our west coast friends).

The links to the meetings are:

Tuesday AA Meeting, 10PM Eastern, 7PM Pacific: http://www.intherooms.com/livemeetings/view?meeting_id=4
Thursday NA Meeting, 10PM Eastern, 7PM Pacific: http://www.intherooms.com/livemeetings/view?meeting_id=5

You can give the link to anyone, and they will be able to attend the meeting, ITR member or not, as there are no requirements for membership to attend real 12 step fellowship meetings. Tell your friends to choose the “Guest” option instead of logging in, if they don’t want to register to be an InTheRooms member.

We’re going to run these meetings for a few weeks ourselves just to make sure there aren’t any kinks, and then we’re going to slowly roll it out to our members who want to start official fellowship registered online meetings using the platform.

Our goal is to replicate the feeling someone gets when they go to a meeting, as best as possible in the virtual space. We want these meetings to touch the heart, and while we’ve had a rocky road during development and testing, one thing has stayed consistent: recovering people from all over the world are connecting in ways we never thought possible.

Special Thanks to http://www.TokBox.com and http://www.Pusher.com for providing amazing web technologies for us to work with.

Thanks and with Love,
The InTheRooms Team

ITR Cartoon: Voices

admin — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 20:25:33 +0000

Submitted by BenBen The Fisherman on October 14, 2011

SEX… (yes I’m shouting)

admin — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 20:23:58 +0000

Submitted by SassySoberGirl on October 14, 2011

Yup. I’m goin there. Epic “no-no”, cause of arguments, discussions, eye brow raises and 13th step jokes. Down this slippery slope I go (pun absolutely intended). So … you wanna go for coffee after the meeting? Best recovery pick up line EVER!!!

New in recovery … or even not so new. Sex can be a difficult topic to discuss. Of course we can refer to our handy dandy recovery books … but all they basically say is ask God and don’t hurt anybody. God likes sex doesn’t he/she/it? I would assume so since we were created to do it. Some say instinct and some say need. Other schools of recovery thought are coitus anarchists and say “Strap me up baby I’m gettin’ my groove on”. Others go for the penile prohibition choice, “No sex except for a loving committed relationship … after a year … after the steps … after you’re old and shriveled. And for goodness sakes don’t enjoy it”.

My opinion varies on the subject. Being a divorced mother of three little cutie pies, my ability to meet eligible men is sketchy at best. Meet men at meetings? Then you hear “Don’t shit where you eat. AA is not a pickup joint.” Just for the purpose of being contrary I wonder where exactly us 30-ish, in our sexual prime (omg) folk are sposed’ to find a sexual partner or at least a date for movie night? Blah.

Everyone being at a different level of recovery/spirituality/healthiness (whatever that means), would suggest that we must be careful in our interactions. What’s okay to one of us certainly won’t be to another. I think the key may be to NOT be selfish??? The ability to have compassion and see other people for where they are … without judgment. Little Suzy sunshine may SAY that she can do the horizontal mambo and just be “friends”. Ahem. Three weeks later when your phone blows up every ten seconds would say otherwise. And that hot-ass new guy that promises that he wants a serious relationship and “We can stay sober together!” … I don’t think I need to finish that thought. At least I hope I don’t … gawd.

Wary of offers for “coffee” from the opposite sex after meetings. Those lead to U-Hauls in driveways more often than not. At the very least, could lead to waking up next to someone you really may not know well or even like that much if ya do know em. If someone is pushin to unzip the jeans, even if ya wanna REAL bad, make em’ wait and see if they’re in it to win it … or for the five minute show. Unless the five minute show is all ya want. Be careful though; the fallout can be seriously whack and you may break out in stalkers.

Like anything else in life and especially recovery, we don’t need any more shit than is already on our plate. Sex can be amazing, or a diversion, or a quick fix, or the start of something good. Know yourself, know your motives, for shitsakes be honest. Meanwhile, “self love” remains my best friend. Don’t even have to wear makeup or sexy outfits … although I usually do. Sexy is an attitude. Try not to pervert it. Or do pervert it … just don’t bitch about the consequences.

Amy G. (aka SassySoberGirl on ITR) is the current Editor-In-Chief / Slave Labor of Addiction Magazine. She also writes the I Love Recovery Blog for ITR and has her own blogsite at Actualized Recovery – Sober and Sassy

Anger and Addiction

admin — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 20:22:48 +0000

Submitted by Anna David on October 14, 2011

Cocaine helped Anna David temper her rage—but it also left her a jittery, panic-stricken mess. In sobriety, she’s learned that it’s actually possible to pick her battles.

Drugs used to mask my wrath.

But my fury wasn’t physical. Instead, I’d take people hostage with my words. Heaven help you if you were one of my high school or college boyfriends and said or did something that I felt was remotely critical or dismissive: I relentlessly tortured these guys, coldly and repeatedly insisting that they explain their words or actions until they regretted them with everything they had in them and were in as much as pain as I was. I didn’t want to do this—in fact, the whole thing was probably more upsetting for me than it was for them—but it often felt as if there was a furious second self that lived inside of me and couldn’t not lash out at the vaguest sign of disrespect.

When I pulled this kind of thing with my parents, they called me, rather accurately, a monster. Or they simply said I was “being abusive.” But that also became a convenient way to describe anything I did that they weren’t in the mood to deal with. “I won’t take your abuse” my dad would say if I calmly but directly explained anything he didn’t feel like hearing. If he was in a yoga phase and responding through email, he’d simply write, I can’t be abused by you—Namaste, Dad. I understood that because of my eruptions earlier in life, I’d lost the right to have my feelings heard. But even if I’d been warned of this later repercussion, I wouldn’t have been able to do anything to control my flare-ups: once triggered, I seemed unable to stop until we were both emotionally bloody. The monster was relentless.

Drugs and alcohol initially helped me control my emotions: first by quelling my insecurities, thus tempering my fear and anger before it could take hold of me, and then by helping me to check out. Drugs—especially cocaine—allowed me to float above my pain and sadness, elevating my mood to a manic joy I’d never thought possible; I went from doing it when people offered it to me at parties to seeking out those I knew had it at parties to buying and doing it with friends to buying and doing it on my own in roughly 18 months.

When I was high, I felt like I was finally experiencing life how it was supposed to be: a stretch of time and space that crackled with excitement and giddiness, where mundane worries and familial obligations were afterthoughts, where all that mattered was continuing to stay as happy as I was. But existing in this state had some serious drawbacks and eventually my life became a succession of jittery nights where I was so wired that I couldn’t do anything but hole up in my apartment alone, feeling like I couldn’t move, nearly jumping out of my skin whenever the phone rang, peering into the apartment of the neighbors I was convinced were watching me through a telescope, thinking I was having a heart attack and welcoming the thought. Nights where I’d drive to meet a cocaine dealer at 2 am in South Central or suddenly find myself at Home Depot at four in the morning because I’d been shaking so much at home that I’d become suddenly convinced I needed to buy a new heater.

At a certain point, I stopped calling my family and began ducking most of their attempts to reach me, but an offer to spend a Christmas holiday with my mom and step-dad in Paris one year proved too much for me to resist; I spent my two weeks there uncovering the seedy underbelly of French nightlife—discovering, to my utter joy, that Parisian cocaine was far stronger than anything I’d tried in the States. I’d return every morning to wish my mom, step-dad and brother a happy day of sightseeing before taking to my bed for the following eight hours, only rising to go out that night to meet my new, drug-addled French friends. One morning when my mom watched me return from one of my nights out and pop a handful of Ambien, she tried to talk to me about what I was doing, but hearing her say “I’m worried” caused simultaneous rage and defensiveness to sweep through me; I coldly assured her she had nothing to worry about before closing the door in her face.

I was the last girl who looked like she was going to embrace a life without drinking and drugs but I eventually got so miserable that I was willing to try it and then I shocked myself and everyone else by taking to it immediately. Even more surprising, underneath my party persona lurked a sort of inner obsessive workaholic who crossed every T, balanced every checkbook, and was determined to have everything under control.

It’s taken a long time and surprised the hell out of me, but sobriety—and the work I’ve had to do in order to stay sober—has also helped to quell that furious second self that used to live inside of me. I still lose my temper—I just don’t do it nearly as often as I used to and most of the time, I see that I can either choose to get upset or not, in much the same way I can choose to drink to drink or not.

I also—at least every now and then—truly believe I’m experiencing life as I think it’s supposed to be. Jittery nights not included.

Excerpted from Falling For Me: How I Hung Curtains, Learned to Cook, Traveled to Seville, and Fell in Love by Anna David with permission by HarperCollins. Anna David is the Executive Editor of The Fix and the author of the novels Party Girl and Bought.

Reprinted with Permission from TheFix.com: http://www.thefix.com/content/anger-and-addiction5393

Rockers In Recovery Live TV Stream on Ustream

admin — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 20:21:41 +0000

Submitted by Rockers In Recovery on October 14, 2011

8PM EST Sunday Night Watch Rockers In Recovery Live TV Stream on Ustream. You Can Also Listen Live At WWNN AM 1470, Rockers in Recovery Online Radio and Rockers in Recovery on Blog Talk Radio all simultaneously. Tune in and check it out at:
http://www.rockersinrecovery.com

Check out last Sunday’s show:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDhNcTbMv5c

Rockers In Recovery Social Network an online place for Rockers In Recovery radio show which is dedicated to music, news, interviews, events, and festivals taking place in the rock and roll industry in the world of fans, bands,listeners or musicians who are in 12 step recovery or support 12 step recovery.

Rockers In Recovery having our own social network website gives us the ability of streaming our Rockers In Recovery radio show 24/7. We also can stream video and and audio of all of our live concert productions and live events right to the Rockers In Recovery social network website. A place where Rockers In Recovery social network members can enjoy all we have to offer
Rockers In Recovery Radio and TV Social Network

Phone 954-826-4920 or john@rockersinrecovery.com

Keep It Simple, Stupid

admin — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 21:16:03 +0000

by JoyceL • Codependence, Recovery • Tags: addiction, Boundaries, friendship, relationships, self-worth

We all know our assorted drama queens, addicts, and energy suckers. These are the types who used to push all of my buttons and pull every single trigger I had, and off I’d go to the blender to make myself a strong, frozen Jimmy Buffett concoction. I always felt that if I wasn’t always there for them, to listen, to help, to lend money, to be a shoulder to cry on, that I was a bad friend.

Needless to say, I got burned numerous times. Users are good at spotting soft-hearted people they can manipulate. It was pretty easy to guilt trip me.

One of the many benefits of getting sober is being clear-headed and hence better at spotting people who are only your friends when they want something from you. I’m learning to just gently cut them loose.

Look, a friend is in a relationship every bit as much as your spouse is in a relationship with you; a friendship is merely a relationship that doesn’t involve sexuality and romance (well, most of the time anyway).

All relationships have their ups and downs and need nurturing. A good friendship will have equal amounts of give and take; at any given time, one person may need more than the other, but over time it all seems to balance out somehow on its own. It’s not like you keep tally. But when the give and take gets permanently lopsided so that you’re repeatedly doing all the giving, all the time, that’s a recipe for exhaustion and resentment. Then I start paying closer attention to what my friend actually does as opposed to what they tell me they do.

And I check in with my own feelings. If drama, crises, hurt feelings, feelings of betrayal, suspicions of being misled, and feelings of being used start to outweigh any joy or pleasure the friendship brings me, that’s when I know it’s time to go.

There are way, way too many other wonderful people in the world worth getting to know instead. I want to be around the people who, when I leave their presence, have left me feeling stimulated, invigorated, refreshed, and feeling good–and they feel the same way after leaving me. I do not want not to be around the people who make me feel drained, upset, stupid, guilty, or lacking in some way.

It’s really that simple.

ITR Cartoon: Alcoholic Alzheimers

admin — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 20:57:10 +0000

Submitted by BenBen The Fisherman on October 7, 2011

First Sober Social Network Celebrates Third Anniversary

admin — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 20:54:52 +0000

Submitted by TheFix.com’s Will Godfrey on October 7, 2011

In The Rooms, the first and biggest sober social network in the world—and the only one that’s unaffiliated with any other organization—celebrated its third birthday yesterday. But when we asked co-founder and CEO Ron Tannebaum how he was feeling, he said there was “no big fanfare,” and exuded more of a sense of quiet satisfaction. “We are very happy we are still here,” he told The Fix. He also has reason to be happy with the impressive growth of the site he co-founded with Ken Pomerance: “Before we launched ITR, everyone we spoke to said this would never work, that we would never reach 10,000 members, that people in recovery are not into the internet, were not reliable enough to depend on to come back to a site day after day.”

But not so: “Fast Forward to today, our third anniversary, we have 173,000-plus members in 111 countries.” ITR also boasts the largest AA and NA groups in the world—over 77,000 and over 66,000 members respectively—and a new video meeting platform was used to run a virtual town hall meeting last month, which The Fix co-hosted. “We want people and their families to stand up and yell, ‘We are in recovery and we are proud of it!’’ Ken Pomerance told us, when we featured the network back in May. Members who were asked to post on what ITR means to them yesterday felt the same, and showed a palpable sense of gratitude: “I would never be sober today without ITR,” was a typical statement. “My co-founder Kenny P and I are just living the dream and giving back to the global recovery community what was so freely given to us,” Tannebaum told us, “the promise of being free of active addiction.” Given all this, we feel that perhaps a little fanfare is justified.

http://www.thefix.com/content/intherooms…, Retrieved 10/07/11 at 11:20 am EDT).

ITR Book Of The Month: Riding a Straight and Twisty Road

admin — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 20:51:19 +0000

Submitted by RT on October 7, 2011

A celebration of motorcycle culture and of lives recovered from active addiction

Before Easy Rider, there was The Wild One. From these films sprang the indelible image of the American biker—wanton, daring, and lawless. Seemingly dedicated only to their own freedom and pleasure, these road rebels tore through the complacency of the suburban American mid-century, with a roar that has yet to die down. Yet something has changed.

Author and avid motorcyclist James Hesketh takes you with him on the ’straight and twisty’ road he’s traveled from addiction to recovery—his motorcycle with him every inch of the way. Drawing from archival information, cultural references, and interviews, Hesketh chronicles the changing history of motorcycle culture, beginning with the infamous 1947 Hollister Rally that inspired the ‘biker image,’ and progressing to the recovery lifestyle and motorcycling. Featuring ‘insider’ accounts by clean and sober riders, and illustrated with vivid photographs, this book is a must-read, not just for those who ride, but for anyone interested in recovery.

James Hesketh is a freelance journalist who has been riding motorcycles for thirty-five years and has nearly a quarter-million miles behind his tailpipe. He studied journalism at Florida International University, and was a motorcycle columnist for The Miami Herald. His writing has also appeared in The New York Times, Robb Report, RoadRacing World, Rider, MotorcycleUSA.com, and BMW Motorcycle Owners News. James has ridden through all of the lower forty-eight states, eastern Canada, northern Mexico, as well as a motorcycle trip to Europe in 2005. He also recently began road racing.

Buy this book on amazon:

Submitted by BenBen The Fisherman on September 30, 2011

Common Knowledge: What is the Big Deal About Step One?

admin — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 19:29:50 +0000

by DennisC for the ITR Addiction Magazine • Alcoholism, Recovery • Tags: 12-Steps, AA, Step 1

“So, What is the Big Deal About the First Step?”

It has been called the “most important step” or, the step that has” to be done perfectly.”

When we make that commitment to do the 12 Steps, it might be well to step  back and take pause before we jump into it.

After close to six months of new sobriety, no one can say that Dennis has not taken enough “pause.” In fact, my strenuous resistance to getting a sponsor and working the steps has caused lengthy procrastination — and ultimately relapse.

Part of my resistance to Step One, is, it just seems too darn “simple.” I mean “admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable.” Well, duh, isn’t that obvious, and baldly redundant? Why would I be attending MEETINGS on a weekly basis if I didn’t believe that?

But the sad reality is this: In my first attempt at recovery in 2010, part of the reason for my relapse was I didn’t really believe that my drinking was unmanageable; some sardonic observers suggest that some people ( not you or me , but people we know, you know) come into A.A. to learn methods to manage our drinking.

Let me suggest that honesty is the beginning of recovery and nothing significant in the pursuit of health — mental, spiritual, and physical — transpires until we embrace it.

The authors were keenly aware of the seemingly endless excuses, rationalizations, denial, delusional bliss — we all employed to avoid the very action needed to take the steps. Is it any wonder that they would suggest admitting powerlessness??

Obvious? Redundant? In regard to unmanageability, how is it that everyone can see it except the alcoholic himself?

Part of the meaning of “hitting bottom” (and this hardly encompasses all the meaning) is that we are willing to surrender our sick resistance to the A.A. principles. Then as Bill W. said, “our obsession leaves us and we enter a new dimension — freedom under God as we understand Him.”*

Until next time, hang in there.
Dennis C

* Quoted from “Came to Believe” Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc., New York

Why Choose OmaPrem

admin — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 19:27:44 +0000

Submitted by OmaPrem on September 30, 2011

Sponsored Post

What makes the Omaprem so unique is the fact that it contains 30 essential fatty acids (EFA’s) verses 6-8 different essential fatty acids that are found in regular fish oils. So what does this mean to the person in pain? What this means is that the potency or the concentration of the omaprem is much greater than regular fish oils.

One would have to take 10 regular fish oils capsules to equal the potency of 1 of the omaprem capsules. When one looks at using 40 regular fish oil capsules verses 4 of the Omaprem the cost savings become very obvious.

So why is 1 Omaprem capsule equal to 10 of any other fish oil? It has to do with the # of essential fatty acids in the omaprem. The 30 EFA`s in the Omaprem work together or synergistically to give this extremely potent effect. It is a “super charges” oil that has no side effect just side benefits. Some of the side benefits besides pain relief are better focus and concentration, reduced inflammation in the skin, eyes, lungs and not to mention the beneficial effects for the heart and also to help support healthy cholesterol levels.
The other issues as to why the Omaprem is a better choise is that the oil comes from one source and that is the green lipped mussel. Most of the fish oils on the market the source of the oils are from various sources. For example, if you look at the most fish oil labels you will see that sources of most fish oils vary. The sources are mackerel, herring, anchovies, salmon etc. The issue of contamination is also greater with most oils because we don’t know what the fish have been feeding on and where they have been feeding and where the fish they have eaten have been feeding. We know where the green lipped mussel has been feeding. They have been feeding in the cleanest most pristine waters off the coat Of New Zealand. There is NO contamination in the water and the plankton they have been feeding on are super charged due to the fact that the ozone layer in that area of the world is thinner and as a result the plankton had to become more resilient. This high level of resilience is what super charges the plankton that the green lipped mussel “eats” or filters and this super plankton is trapped in the meat of the mussel. Once the mussel is harvested this super oil is then extracted via a patented cold extraction process so that none of the essential fatty acids are destroyed. Remember once again that the oil from the green lipped mussel is super charged with 30 essential fatty acids and this is what makes this oils so potent and produces so many beneficial health benefits.

I have been using the Omaprem in my clinical practice with my patients and the results I have seen are amazing to say the least. I have personally been on the product and the pain in my knees is completely resolved.

So back to the original question as to why the Omaprem is better the answer is simple:
•    30 essential fatty acids in the Omaprem vs. 6-8 in most fish oils.
•    One(1) Omapren is equal to taking 10 fish oil capsules
•    No harmful side effects.
•    No fish taste or after taste.
•    Small pea sized capsules vs. large capsules that are difficult to swallow.
•    No drug interactions with blood thinners.
Good Health is a gift we need cherish and relish every day. May You Always Be Blessed With Good Health.

Derrick M. DeSilva, Jr.,M.D.

A Sober Divorce?

admin — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 19:25:30 +0000

Submitted By Rachael Brownell for TheFix.com on September 30, 2011

AA suggests that we practice sober principles in all our affairs—even in circumstances that can drive the most-well adjusted among us to emotional agony and homicidal rage. How one woman serenely survived her split.

Life happens and you’re walking around like Queen of All Sober People expecting to be exempt from little things like job loss, illness, and divorce. And slowly it dawns on you that when they say things like “Life on life’s terms” and “We practice these principles in all our affairs” they’re talking to YOU. Not the guy sitting behind and slightly to your left.

How disappointing to find that getting clean not only doesn’t get you a parade, it often brings with it all kinds of wreckage that you were either too drunk or stoned to see before. Nothing takes you down 10 pegs like a sober look at what you’ve done with the last few years of your life—especially divorce, that many-headed hydra of pain, remorse, and guilt.

Karen Khaleghi, the founder and Director of Education for Creative Care Malibu, a rehabilitation center specializing in dual diagnoses, points out that “no one starts a marriage with the intention of divorcing—people are naturally optimistic.” Khaleghi, who has worked for over 20 years with families in recovery, adds that because of these high expectations, couples often feel like failures and experience a deep sense of loss if they do get divorced “and this applies doubly to those in recovery, especially when they’re facing a problematic relationship for the first time with a clear mind.” When a spouse enters treatment, Dr. Khaleghi notes, it isn’t uncommon for their partner to break off the relationship or file for divorce.

Early in sobriety, it occurred to me that my husband and I no longer spoke, made eye contact, or entered each other’s perimeter except to exchange grocery lists, cash, or speeches about how the other person was Falling Short.

She counsels sober people in troubled marriages to “connect the dots” and understand the link between their emotions and their behavior. “Holding onto anger and resentment,” she adds, “keeps you stuck and attached to your loss and anger.”

My friend, a fellow author named Amy Hatvany, struggled through years of legal wrangling during her divorce, all while trying to balance motherhood and recovery. And while she knew others in her home group had been divorced, she still felt isolated during the worst of it. Still, Amy tries to remember during heated disagreements to try, if at all possible, to stay kind, patient, and loving. And when that’s not possible, she uses this mantra: “Bless him, heal me, bless him and heal me,” until she calms down.

Amy recalls one very snowy evening a few years back, after hearing weather bulletins warning people from driving on dangerous roads, she asked her ex to change their visitation plans in order to insure her kids’ safety. When he insisted on hitting the road anyway, kids in tow, Amy lost it. “I was fired up with self-righteous indignation and I let him have it from both barrels about imperiling the kids,” she recalls. “Before long, we were in a screaming match and the kids were crying in the back seat.” Once both parents realized the scene they were causing, they ended the call, the ex took the kids back to safety, and Amy called her sponsor.

“Recovery takes the fun out of getting angry,” Amy now reports. “You feel so guilty afterward; it’s not even worth it.” She and her ex are on better terms these days. And while they aren’t quite friends, they can talk about personal matters without as much heat and fighting. “One of the greatest gifts of recovery is learning to stay rational and stick to the facts,” she says. “I try not to give in to the hysteria of hurt feelings.”

Another friend who’s been sober for two years and is recently divorced with kids, tries to stay away from blame and recrimination in discussions with his ex but reports that it’s easier said than done. “In the beginning I lost my shit a lot,” he confesses. “When you first start getting divorced, there is a lot of anger recrimination and blaming, a lot of ‘Here’s how you contributed to the downfall of our relationship.’” The instances of yelling and blaming decrease over time, but he recalls a time when a disagreement over their eldest son’s visit caused a stir. He admits yelling and telling her things like “You never let me have my way!” and trying to make her feel guilty so he could get what he wanted. Here, the guidance of the program came in handy. “I’ve learned to stay on my side of the street and frame disagreements in terms of what I can control—myself—rather than trying to control her,” he says. When he finds himself getting heated, he tries to stay calm, breathe deeply and step away from the phone and computer so as not to text or email something he may regret. He pauses when he’s agitated and tries to stay focused on what’s best for his kids. “On many things,” he reports, “we now simply agree to disagree. We let each other have our own house rules, and keep our bickering back and forth to a minimum.”

Early in sobriety, it occurred to me that my husband and I no longer spoke, made eye contact, or entered each other’s perimeter except to exchange grocery lists, cash, or speeches about how the other person was Falling Short. When I shared this with my sponsor, she smiled beatifically and reemphasized that Big Changes (such as leaving one’s husband, or beating him with a big bat) were not suggested in the first year of sobriety. Little changes? I bargained. How about one very small polite boyfriend? Is that allowed? She nodded quietly, directing my attention back to our step work. I left there emptied of all hope. The thought of staying married for another year made me want to dive headlong into a vat of cool crisp white wine.

Instead, I kept repeating, “Just for today, I won’t drink, get a boyfriend, or tell my husband he sucks. Just for today, I’ll stay married and pretend I have good manners and am kind.” I read over and over the part of the Big Book where it promises we’ll eventually learn to “meet calamity with serenity.”

I don’t know how I got through that year, except by the grace of my home group, my sponsor, swearing, and candy. At year’s end, my husband and I separated and began the process of divorce and lived happily ever after and fulfilled all our dreams and each live in half a shared duplex and help each other with our organic vegetable garden. Not really. Actually we still fight all the time and sic lawyers on each other, but at least we have moments of civility and I haven’t called him a dick on over a year.

It’s about progress, not perfection, right?

One of the many aspirational parts of the Big Book suggests that we live out the principles of recovery “in all our affairs.” I don’t know about you, but all my affairs weren’t that principled before recovery. I was passionate (had a problem with anger), feisty (said mean things during fights), empowered (selfish), strong-willed (self-seeking), and ruined many relationships without as much as a twinge of conscience. So bringing principles of recovery like honesty, openness, and willingness into something as thorny as divorce felt like wearing shoes 10 sizes too big: I could make my way around but it was clumsy and hard to watch and involved lots of swearing and yelling.

To this day, my first instinct with my ex is to call names and yell, but now what I want even more is to avoid the emotional hangover (and the amends) that always follow such outbursts. I’d love it if he saw me as a paragon of recovery, but I’m told his opinion is none of my business. Sigh.

I’ve determined that though there will always be financial ruin, divorce, death, and taxes, you can meet those mo-fos head-on, my sisters and brothers. You can do it with style and panache, while wearing heels, and staying sober. You can even do it wearing sweats.

Rachael Brownell is a freelance writer and author of the book Mommy Doesn’t Drink Here Anymore. She lives in the Pacific Northwest with her sexy boyfriend, her kids, her books and her closet that is no longer full of skeletons. She has written about the importance of humor and what motherhood is really like in sobriety, among other topics, for The Fix.

Re-posted with permission from TheFix.com, original post: Click Here

ITR Cartoon: Serpents

admin — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 20:49:23 +0000

Submitted by BenBen The Fisherman on September 23, 2011

There is Nothing Wrong with You

admin — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 20:47:45 +0000

Submitted by Recovering Angel on September 23, 2011

Is it just me or do most alcoholic/addicts believe, at one point in their lives, that if people really knew who they are, nobody would like them? This was certainly true for me. I could not allow you to know the true “me” because I was sure you’d be repulsed.

I had the belief that there was something inherently wrong with me. Even before I went from a recreational user to a full-blown addict, I always felt damaged, incomplete. That really hurt; I had the feeling that everybody else was having a great time and I was merely surviving.

I also believed that I was not able to change who I was. I believed that I had been born a certain way and that no amount of therapy or drugs, legal or otherwise, would change me.

As we would say in A.A., I am not responsible for my disease but I am responsible for my behavior. I have learned to separate who I am from what I do. Once I was able to separate the two, I began to change.

When I began to contemplate recovery, one of my therapists assured me that, “there is nothing wrong with you.” I really needed to hear that. He is the one who encouraged me to keep trying to quit using. He was the first person who believed in me. He didn’t see me as a broken individual who was out to hurt people. He saw me as someone who was hurting and in need of help.

I don’t think I could’ve gotten sober if I had held to the belief that no matter what I do, there’s still something wrong with me. And now that I’m working with sponsees, I see them struggling too with the belief they’re broken and unfixable.

I remind them that they’re not their disease, that their past does not define them, that there’s nothing wrong with them. Some of them accept God’s grace and begin recovering; some of them don’t.

Alcoholism/addiction wants us to believe that we are damaged goods beyond repair, unworthy of God’s grace. Don’t believe it. There’s nothing wrong with you.

Hate the new Facebook? You’re always welcome In The Rooms

admin — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 20:43:21 +0000

Submitted by TheDotMack on September 23, 2011

We’ve heard things. Bad things. Hateful things. About the “other” social network. Do you resist change? Do some step work!

In this case, however, we ask that you embrace your fear of change and spend more time on the social network that loves you and welcomes you always with open arms.

Here are the top 10 reasons why InTheRooms is far superior to Facebook in all ways:

Our Humility, we are much more humble than them.
Our community is safe & secure, surrounded by the Global Recovery Community. We protect your anonymity. On the new Facebook Timeline, people can go back and look at your posts from years ago. If you were using a few years ago, this is bad. Very bad. Very Very Bad. There are pictures there that you probably don’t even want your sponsor to see.
Every day we fill your inbox with spiritual emails, such as the Daily Meditation, or this fine email you’re reading now. The emails you receive from other sources ask you to send your bank account information to your long lost african uncle’s barrister in exchange for viagra and a lower interest rate on your mortgage. Not very spiritual.
ITR has the largest AA Group (76,000 members) & NA Group (66,000 members) in the world. Imagine going to a meeting with 150,000 people. Imagine what the serenity prayer would sound like. Imagine volunteering to make the coffee. I just blew my own mind, man.
ITR has 17 Anonymous Fellowships online for addictions to alcohol, drugs, eating disorders, gambling, sex, emotions, co-dependency and much more. You may only go to 1 fellowship, but stay open minded, you might find something that will help you from all paths of recovery.

See, now you know. If you’re having trouble logging in, send an email to support@intherooms.com and they’ll get you straightened out right away.

Thanks,

The InTheRooms Team

P.S.: Coming Soon, New ITR Features: Worldwide Video AA & NA meetings, an InTheRooms iPhone App (which will allow you to stay connected 24 hours a day if you so choose), and more! Also watch out for the New Totally Revamped Spectacular Awesome InTheRooms.com that works just like the New Facebook (just kidding, lol)

You’re Invited: You Are Not Alone Virtual Town Hall

admin — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 20:40:01 +0000

Submitted by The Partnership at Drugfree.org on September 23, 2011

Are All Who Struggle With Addiction Equal? Eighty-five million people in the United States are directly impacted by addiction, and 11 million teens and young adults currently need treatment. So many are touched by the disease, and addiction is not a one-size-fits-all issue. So how exactly does addiction impact different segments of society?

Join us and some of the top names from the medical, entertainment and literary fields for a live, two-hour You Are Not Alone virtual town hall on Tuesday, September 27 at 8:00 pm EDT. Our co-hosts for the event are InTheRooms.com and TheFix.com.

SPACE IS LIMITED, so register now for the event.

Among the panelists are Nic Sheff, author of Tweak and We All Fall Down, musician/composer Ricky Byrd (“I Love Rock ‘n Roll”) and Deni Carise, PhD, Chief Clinical Officer, Phoenix House. Other distinguished participants include:

Gene Bowen, Founder, Road Recovery
Leonard Bushell, Writers in Treatment
Sherry Gaba, LCSW Life Coach, Author (The Laws of Sobriety)
Dan Griffin, Author (Helping Men Recover)
Fred Muench, PhD, Director of Research, The Partnership at Drugfree.org
Patty Powers, Interventionist on A&E’s “Intervention” and “Relapse”
John Sharp, MD, author (The Emotional Calendar)

We look forward to your participation in this discussion and Q&A, the first event in collaboration with our You Are Not Alone partners. You Are Not Alone is The Partnership at Drugfree.org’s new, transformative campaign calling on all those affected by addiction to take action and help our kids in need.

-The Partnership at Drugfree.org

ITR Cartoon: Making Time Count

admin — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 20:59:42 +0000

Submitted by BenBen The Fisherman on September 16, 2011

Lurking Demons- Friend or Foe?

admin — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 20:57:37 +0000

Submitted by Tami on September 16, 2011

I struggle with perfection, as I have heard is common in Al-Anon. If I perform a task, I will micro-analyze it to see how I could have done it better. Every meal I cook could taste better, every conversation I have… the list goes on and on.

I also struggle with determining which of these self-criticisms I should take to heart. Currently, this resides in when my children are involved. Do I talk to them enough? Am I present when I am with them or squirreling about in my own mind “Uh-huh”ing them until they get bored and wander off? As a divorced mother of two, I always seem to have something to do or am in need of alone time to unwind and be still. I’m looking for that happy medium.

On the way home tonight, I had a sledge-hammer drop on my chest with guilt of how I have been shuffling my kids to the side this week. Granted, I have been ill; they know that and have been very sympathetic toward me. However, this is where the old demons flew into the car and rode with me the whole way home. You’re failing them; you can’t even have a conversation with them without running through a list of things in your mind; how many times did your daughter ask you to scrapbook with her? Your son just wanted you to watch him play Wii. It upset me so much, I called my children (who were at their dad’s house) just to talk to them for a minute and let them know I was thinking about them.

With a little pep talk and some grace, I managed to ease some of that guilt and remind myself I’m doing the best I can with where I am right now and can use these little reminders to the benefit of my relationship with them. No, I’m not a perfect mother and won’t always get it right. But I am a good mother and love my children very deeply; they know that. I never miss a day in telling them how much they mean to me.

So, I feel the car attack was merely old self trying to rear her nasty head. Thanks to my Higher Power, and Al-Anon, I had the tools to circle the wagons and find the reality that I am a good mother. I’m doing the best I can, and I can start tomorrow fresh when they come home. You will probably find me sitting at a table looking awkwardly at a scrapbooking kit (so not my thing) while cheering my son on as he runs in for a touchdown on the Wii.

The Things I Once Carried

admin — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 20:55:51 +0000

Submitted by JoyceL on September 16, 2011

In the liquor cabinet: Patron Silver tequila, Belvedere vodka, Shakers wheat vodka, Grand Marnier, triple sec, dry vermouth, Bacardi rum, Myer’s dark rum, Tanqueray, grenadine, bitters.

On the counter: Maker’s Mark, Woodford Reserve, Knob Creek, Booker‘s bourbons. Fonseca 20-year tawny port.

In the refrigerator: six-pack Anchor Steam, six-pack Gordon Biersch blonde bock. Mint julep syrup. Agave nectar. Limes. Olives. Maraschino cherries. Chilled Dry Creek chardonnay. Mrs. T’s Bloody Mary mix. Worchester sauce. Horseradish.

On the wall in the den: two display cases with over 60 shot glasses from different states and several countries.

In the 3-case wine rack: mostly red blends. Imagery, Hook and Ladder, Kenwood, BV, Sequoia Grove, Thomas Fogarty, Ridge, Cooper Garrod, Mondavi, Opus One, Beringer, Benziger, Byron, Jordan.

In the cupboard: 6 martini glasses. 20 white wine glasses, seldom used. 6 large red wine glasses. 6 tumblers. One insulated shaker. Too many pint glasses to count.

In the kitchen drawers: 3 customized wine corks. Several corkscrews. Three bottle openers. A strainer. A gadget for cutting the foil off an unopened bottle of wine. A wine saver pump. Wine pourers. Wine stoppers. An absinthe spoon. Assorted stirrers and wine charms.

Gone: all of it.

Days Sober: 738.

So grateful that that life is gone.

The Drug That Eats Junkies

admin — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 20:53:47 +0000

Submitted by Jamie Lee on September 16, 2011

It’s being called “The Drug That Eats Junkies” by the media. It’s street name is Krokodil, because of the effect it has on the flesh of the user. It’s pharmaceutical name is Desomorphine. And it’s killing almost every person that tries it even once.

A derivative of Morphine, it was first created in 1932 in the United States as a possible Morphine substitute. Scientists were looking for new drugs that would have strong analgesic effects but be less addictive than Morphine. Desomorphine and Methadone seemed to be the most promising, but it was soon discovered that Desomorphine was extremely addictive, so it never became a widely used painkiller.

In recent years drug enforcement programs in Europe have become much more effective and have made it increasingly difficult to obtain Heroin. Heroin users in Europe have been turning to Krokodil in alarming numbers to satisfy their addictions. And there are now reports of Krokodil addiction here in the U.S.

Krokodil is made at home with Codeine, which is legal to buy over the counter in Europe and easily obtained on the streets here in the United States, and a number of cheap household chemicals. Because of it’s short lived effects and length of time it takes to make the drug, and the severe addiction that results, Krokodil addicts spend all of their time cooking the drug and using.

Krokodil is so addictive that most people never recover. Reports of people continuing to shoot up until their flesh has completely rotted off of parts of the bodies, until they can no longer even move, until death, are not uncommon. The average Krokodil addict lives only 1-2 years due to the severe deterioration of flesh and internal organs, including the brain.

There is a lot to say about this killer “Designer Drug,” but I’ll just let some photos do the talking.

Click here to see ALL the photos, they are very graphic: http://mystoryofrecovery.com/2011/09/16/warning-graphic-krokodil-europes-designer-drug/

Need more evidence of how awful this drug is? Youtube Krokodil and start watching videos. But be warned in advance… I do not recommend doing this.

ITR Cartoon: Problem

admin — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 21:15:55 +0000

Submitted by BenBen The Fisherman on September 9, 2011

A Perspective on “Waiting: A Nonbeliever’s Higher Power”

admin — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 21:13:55 +0000

Submitted by JoeC on September 9, 2011

At the end of this week, I look forward to interviewing Marya Hornbacher about her book: “Waiting: A Nonbeliever’s Higher Power” (Hazelden Publishing, May 2011)

I think believers have as much to learn from agnostics about faith as the other way around. And this book is a good start to the new millennium. What she means by waiting as a higher power (I think) is that spirituality isn’t about knowing, getting what you want, or those “aha” moments. It’s about the vulnerability of not knowing, doubting, seeking; “waiting” for the answers to come, regardless of if they come at all. If we are waiting, this is a state of humbleness as we accept that we aren’t in charge, don’t have control, and we don’t know it all.

She says the absence of God in her life is not the absence of spiritual living because sobriety is based on a program of action. Sobriety, at least by way of the 12 steps isn’t an intellectual process; it isn’t about what I think or believe and no one has proven to me that a deity picks and chooses to whom He grants sobriety. Recovery is all about what I do; it’s what I do after I get off my knees that counts.

Marya’s spirituality is a room full of people; I like that idea. Maybe we all have this Sunday-school idea of “being in the light” alone – enlightened, at one with god. But to Marya, it’s only when she is in flight, in action, or in the service of others that the spirit is flowing. The self-indulgent navel gazing gets us ready but it isn’t a ‘spiritual’ state, so to speak.

I finished the book and I find no bitterness, no reactive bigotry. The religious discrimination in Twelve Step programs is very polite most of the time. But for atheists, why wouldn’t someone who was tired of the preaching members praying for them, lash out with equal stubbornness? Shit, I just ranted all over Chad H’s article, Not the “God” Word. I get fed up at times. I came out of the closet about not believing a God exists and Letting Go of God has been the most liberating step in my sobriety. It’s not for everyone, not for the faint of heart. It is lonely at first, but not as lonely as being a faker in a program of fellows, some of which are drunk on dogma.

By “drunk” I mean that belief shouldn’t be over-indulged. None of us should go from “this is what I believe” over the deep end to “this is how it is.” When we are drunk on idealism, self-righteousness, or any other intoxicant, we can’t think straight. We can hurt people and we do. We say things that are insensitive. Believers do that all the time in AA. At least over-indulgent believers do. The moderate believer knows he or she could be wrong, they know only a little and there are many ways to skin a cat.

Atheists can be drunk on dogma too. Calling belief in god a crutch more crippling than booze would be this type of drunk on dogma talk. Telling someone, “When you grow up you won’t need that baby-sitter, God, to tuck you in at night and tell you to brush your teeth.” Pretty obnoxious isn’t it? Well it’s no better than Bill Wilson telling an atheist “We once believed as you did.” How the fuck can he know what I believe? Just because he resisted God and I do too, that does not mean we have the same world-view. If AA told Catholics they had to convert, it wouldn’t be any more arrogant than telling someone they can’t get sober without finding God. It just isn’t true; This notion is the delusion of drunkenness.

It seems that AA finds not enough room in the middle. From one drunken, “There is no God, it’s all a crock” while we were out-there in our self-will-run-riot self-destruction, to “only Divine providence can relieve our merciless obsession” is rather naïve and extreme. In the middle there is so much room for everyone to breathe. I know that I can, like countless others, live a value-based, sober, seeking life without prayer or mythology. Others can indulge mythology without offending me so long as they don’t tell me “God as I understand Him” is inclusive language.

It might have been a good starting point last millennium, but we have to do better if AA is going to be more than a couple thousand drunks holding hands saying the Lord’s Prayer and reading the same 164 pages on our 100th anniversary. If we don’t adapt we will become obsolete, just as the Washingtonians and Oxford Group did before us.

From what I see, Marya shows no sign of fatigue from AA patronization. I look forward to hearing what her secret is. She politely explains how it is for her without preaching or drawing a line in the sand.

I live in a city where agnostic discrimination is tolerated at our intergroup and a “White Paper on Non-Believers” is being circulated as a warning about the risk to AA from giving a voice to non-Christian/Judeo sobriety. It reads like Mein Kampf. It is just the type of drunk-on-dogma discrimination that can only make AA smaller and less helpful.

Marya, I am “waiting” to hear what you have to say.

INTERVIEW will be early September, I will have more to share soon.

UNWASTED: MY LUSH SOBRIETY Animated Short

admin — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 21:08:27 +0000

Submitted by Sacha Z. Scoblic on September 9, 2011

I’m having relapse fantasies lately. Too bad I’ve gone sober.

When Sacha Z. Scoblic was drinking, she was a rock star; the days were rough and the nights filled with laughter and blackouts. Then she gave it up. She had to. But the last chapter is not the end of the addicted nightmare—the first chapter is. Because, when the party winds down, that’s when things really get weird. This memoir starts where others leave off: at the beginning of a life without alcohol, where the liquor still seems to lap at Sacha’s feet and where reality comes rushing in hard and fast.

Click here to watch the video:

Submitted by TheDotMack on September 9, 2011

Morning meditation… check. Feelin’ spiritual. Commute. Work. Emails. Boss. Co-workers. Crowded Lunch. Not so spiritual by 1PM :(

What to do? Afternoon Affirmations!! Get ‘em in your inbox every day at 1PM, to help you make it to dinner (you’re on your own after that, we suggest logging in to ITR and getting to a meeting)

http://dailyaffirmations.me/

ITR Cartoon: Requirement

admin — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 21:00:41 +0000

Submitted by BenBen The Fisherman on September 2, 2011

Capital Punishment for Addicts: Billy Slagle

admin — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 20:59:42 +0000

Submitted by Gordon Rouston on September 2, 2011

Billy Slagle woke up one fateful morning in 1987, went to a neighbors and violently stabbed Mari Anne Pope (17) times, she died from those wounds. Billy was in a black out at the time, he remembered evry little, he was tried at age (18) and convicted, sentenced to death where he sits on death roww waiting his lethal injection. But for the Grace of God that could have easily been me and so many others I have met over the past (35) years In The Rooms.

Billy was born of alcoholic parents, experienced withdrawl when born, never had love in his life because his parents were incapable of loving him through their addictions. he tried to cope with life through his addiction, quiet the fear and pain.
I for one am grateful this story is not mine, it could have been, I do not believe Billy deserves to die thus I have sent a letter to the Governor for clemency, signed petitions and pray anyone reading this will do the same

http://www.petitiononline.com/m192001/pe…
http://www.petitiononline.com/m192001/pe…
http://www.petitiononline.com/mod_perl/s…

Write the Governor of Ohio; John Kasich
Fife Center, 30Th Floor
77 South High St.
Columbus, Ohio 43215-6117

Billy Slagle will be put to death on September 20, 2011 if we do nothing;

Billy Slagle
A203-172
Ohio State Penitentiar878 Coitsville-Hubbard Rd
Youngstown, Ohio 44505

Thanks
Gordon Rouston

When I Grow Up, I Want to be Like My Daughter

admin — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 20:56:20 +0000

Submitted by Tami on September 2, 2011

I am going to venture out a little further tonight and share something a little more personal and heart-felt. Bear with me. My children were seven and five years old when their dad and I sat them down at the kitchen table to tell them we were separating. The three of them cried; I stayed strong.

My daughter is wise beyond her nearly ten years on this earth. It was so simple to her; we were fighting, so we should just say we were sorry and make up. That’s how we’ve always taught them to deal with their problems with their peers. There was nothing I could say to her to make her little mind understand the magnitude of what we were facing, so she stepped out on blind faith and trust that I was doing what had to be done. She accepted it.

I have often considered introducing her to Ala-teen when she turns ten to (enter arrogance here) give her an opportunity to deal with the difficulty of having active alcoholism in her life. I have come to realize over the last year that she will most likely need this wonderful program to learn effective coping skills to live with me. At nine and three-quarter-years old, she is showing signs of co-dependency and emotional eating. Her father has not been in our home for almost three years. Sometimes I wonder if that mirror can get any larger before my face.

This evening, due to a tough day at work and raging hormones, I wanted to be left alone. My children were eager for me to pick them up from the sitter’s house and wanted to spend time with me. But, I wanted to curl up on the couch and read. I patted them on the head, offered timely chuckles when it seemed appropriate, but paid very little attention to what was being said. All I kept thinking was, “Is it bedtime yet?” I didn’t feel like being a mother today.

If the situation was reversed, and I was on the receiving end of my behavior, I would have stomped around the house, slammed a few doors, huffed and blowed, thrown my practiced-to-perfection glares, and smarted off about how everything else in life was way more important to him (my alcoholic), and gone to bed angry. My daughter, on the other hand, gave me several genuine hugs, told me how much she loved me, and went to play with her brother, who also came in sporadically to offer his own affection to me.

I went upstairs and cuddled with each of them before bedtime tonight. They went to bed all smiles with love-filled eyes. For that, I feel good. I know I’m a good mother; I know the Al-Anon program and my Higher Power can help me become better. My prayer is that I will stop taking them for granted and shuffling them to the side. My fear is they will grow up starved for my attention while I am busy practicing my program elsewhere but never putting it into play in our home. My children need me to be consistent, even-tempered, and focused. Tonight, I pray for God to grant me that ability as it does not come naturally to me.

The Problem Was Me: How to End Negative Self-Talk and Take Your Life to a New Level

admin — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 20:55:23 +0000

Submitted by Thomas Gagliano on September 2, 2011

Dr. Abraham J. Twerski and Thomas Gagliano inspire readers to silence the inner voice of self-doubt and begin living proactive lives. Moving past addictive acting out depends on right action and right thinking. In The Problem Was Me, readers are guided on how to work an honest recovery program and break the cycle of addictive acting out.

About the Author

Thomas Gagliano is a highly motivated and successful entrepreneur with a proven track record in small business ventures. Gagliano has also been a high profile leader in addiction and self-help therapy, developing unique methods and procedures which have helped numerous institutions and individuals in the greater New York area. His methods have been embraced by a number of institutions, including the Counseling Center in Princeton, the Chabad Chai Center in East Brunswick and St. Ambrose Parish (RC) in Old Bridge. He is a graduate of Seton Hall University and has a bachelor’s degree in marketing. Today he is back at school, attending Rutgers University and completing a Masters degree in social work.

Abraham J. Twerski, MD, author of Addictive Personality and numerous other books, has been referred to as “Pittsburgh’s most famous psychiatrist.” After serving several years as a pulpit rabbi, Dr. Twerski entered Marquette University Medical School in Milwaukee and completed his psychiatric training at the University of Pittsburgh Medical School. He has served as medical director of psychiatry at Pittsburgh’s St. Francis Hospital, and in 1972 founded the Gateway Rehabilitation Center for treatment of alcohol and drug addiction. He was the medical director of Gateway for 30 years, and is currently medical director emeritus. He is the author of numerous books on addiction, self-esteem and spirituality. Dr. Twerski collaborated with Charles Schulz, creator of the Peanuts cartoon strip, on four books. Dr. Twerski has lectured world-wide as well as in many cities in the United States.

Buy this book: http://www.amazon.com/Problem-Was-Me-Neg…

ITR Cartoon: Basket

admin — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 21:09:22 +0000

Submitted by BenBen The Fisherman on August 26, 2011

Monsters Under The Bed

admin — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 21:08:24 +0000

Submitted by RobinH on August 26, 2011

Many of us, even those who don’t suffer from addictions or psychiatric disorders, have real or imagined fears they have to find a way to deal with. Some turn to religion, others turn to science, and a few of us turn to drugs and alcohol.

Human Beings are the first species on this planet to have to deal with something called “Existential Fear,” which in developmental terms is called an “existential crisis.” This is defined as, a stage of development at which an individual questions the very foundations of his or her life: whether their life has any meaning, purpose or value. How we choose to deal with this ‘life stage’ will have a profound effect on the directions our life will take, and the decisions we make, as far as how we’ll choose to deal with these fears, but like anything in life these decisions don’t have to be ‘set in stone.’

For myself, there was a definite problem in dealing with these fears. I had no meaning, purpose, or value. I had parents that were very uninvolved, and an older brother that was (and still is) very abusive. I joined an evangelical Christian church in my late teens, looking for direction that I wasn’t getting at home. I eventually left the church because I wasn’t finding any answers, but I was left with a deep and abiding sense that God hated me and I was going to be punished in the end. I did discover that an occasional drink made my fears much easier to tolerate. So, for the next thirty years I drank; instead of dealing with my fears and feelings, I drank; instead of growing up, I drank. Like many people, I was ‘whistling in the dark.’

The following is a passage from my “Introduction to Psychotherapy” textbook, which I believe sheds some light on the difficulties those of us struggling with addictions have to face:

“My own experiences as a therapist have led me to agree cautiously that a vast amount of personal energy seems to be chambered into the avoidance of certain changes. For example, several of my clients seemed to have identified with their problems to the point that symptomatic improvements were frightening assaults on identity. When I asked one chronically depressed man what he thought it would take for him to change, he answered, “I guess I would have to be somebody else.”
– Introduction to Psychotherapy: Common Clinical Wisdom, 2nd Edition (November 6, 1998) Pipes, Randolph B & Davenport , Donna S; Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon (Chapter 1, Page 14).

I have to admit that when I was at the mercy of my own out of control fears, after a few years I began to identify with those fears. My fears became so integrated with my personality that I could no longer tell if it was my fears or my drinking that I was afraid to give up.

I eventually reached a stage of ‘critical mass’ where I was more afraid of continuing to live as I was, than I was of losing my fears and identity. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still afraid… I’ve just learned, the hard way, that my fears aren’t something worth losing my life over.

Is it better to be at the mercy of how I think life is, or is it better to drop my fears, rejoin society, and try to see life as it really is. I have learned that society didn’t ostracize me, I made myself an outcast by giving in to my fears and letting them take control. Everyone is afraid to some degree or another. It’s part of what a ‘sentient‘ being is. In order to become a successful human being we have to know what our fears are, and learn to accept them for what they are. Like F.D.R. said, “the only thing we have to fear, is fear itself!

—–

Original Post: http://www.intherooms.com/addiction/mons…

Nicotine Addiction

admin — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 21:06:45 +0000

Submitted by Tami on August 26, 2011

I was raised in a house where my father smoked three packs of cigarettes a day. I remember sitting in class and craving a cigarette. Whether that is even possible, I don’t know. I started smoking when I was 16 and smoked regularly until my father had a massive heart attack at 59 years old. Thankfully he survived, but the surgeon told us if he could list 100 on a piece of paper to save my father’s life in the future, number one was for him to quit smoking, which he did.

I was so enraged that these sticks of death had almost caused my father to never see his 60th birthday, that I put them down and didn’t touch them for over a year and a half. One day, my then-husband and I had a fight and in the midst of fury, I went and bought a pack of cigarettes with the idea I would have one and give the rest to my best friend. I smoked the whole pack and went back for more.

Three years later, I quit again; I had it licked; no cravings, the habit was broken — I was in the clear. It didn’t bother me to be around other smokers; I felt free from the addiction. About four weeks ago, I was reminiscing about time-gone-by and wanted a Swisher Sweet Cigarello. So, I had one, which led to one more the following week, then two the next weekend, and now I’m back to smoking cigars on a regular basis. I made a deal with myself that I would ween myself off of them and when my stash was gone, I wouldn’t buy any more.

Two nights ago, I stopped at five different stores looking for my cigars. I told myself after the second stop, “I’ll go to one more store, and if they don’t have them, I’m done. I’ll take it as a sign.” My children are very disappointed in me, and while I completely relate to how they feel and remember how I felt when I begged and bargained with my dad to quit, I find myself still coming back for more and seeking out that which feels embedded in my anatomy.

While I’m reluctant to compare nicotine addiction to alcoholism, I feel I have some sort of understanding and compassion for my qualifier that I’ve never had before. I want to do the right thing for my health and set a good example for my children, and in the midst of this, there is a gnawing that begs me for just one more drag. Sometimes I cave, other times I stand strong.

I feel my Higher Power is the only thing that can free me from this addiction. I’m not strong enough to do this on my own; I’ve proven that. I’ve also proven to myself that I will never be able to be a casual smoker, and that makes me very sad today. I know I will quit again, and it will hopefully be for the last time. I will apply the first three steps summed up as, “I can’t; He can; I think I’ll let Him” and lay this addiction at the feet of my Higher Power. I have become willing, and now I pray for the power to carry it out.

—–

Original post: http://www.intherooms.com/addiction/nico…

The Big Difference

admin — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 21:04:47 +0000

Submitted by AMPM on August 26, 2011

ITR members may have noticed a new banner ad recently that was a little different from most ads. Instead of trying to sell members a product or program, the ad is looking for people with different medical conditions. The ad was placed by Advanced Medical and Pain Management Research Clinic – AMPMRC. Specifically, the ad was placed by their Recruiter, Annie S. Annie is a recovering addict with over 7 years clean and an ITR member.
Annie joined AMPMRC when the company was first started by Dr. Abel Murillo, a prominent researcher and anesthesiologist in the Miami community. Annie saw working at the research clinic as a way to be of service on a world scale. AMPM Research Clinic performs necessary medical trials on new pharmacological formulations which then help ease suffering worldwide. For example, a current trial is investigating the effectiveness of a product in preventing very painful infections in cancer patients. There is also a trial for a new compound to treat Hepatitis C. Another study for people with schizophrenia who have an arrest history is studying a new formulation to relieve the symptoms of schizophrenia and perhaps prevent further negative social effects.

Annie spoke about her desire to help others, “I already do a lot of service for my fellowship – H & I, sponsorship and chairing a meeting – and I wanted to find a way to make difference in the world. Everyone who participates in the studies is also making a contribution, helping themselves and others at the same time.”

If you are interested in participating in a study, or just want to learn more, please call Annie at 305-450-5364 or go to http://ampm.iloverecovery.com

ITR Cartoon: Laundry

admin — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 21:16:19 +0000

Submitted by BenBen The Fisherman on August 12, 2011

Self-Esteem, Revisited

admin — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 21:13:59 +0000

by RobinH • Addiction, Alcoholism, Recovery • Tags: 12-Steps, AA, addiction, ego. social skills, Mental Health, psychology, relapse, self-esteem, self-worth

I thought I would post a follow up to the article I wrote last week on self-esteem, because I got a couple of comments that I felt brought up some interesting points, both “pro” and “con” towards A.A.’s approach to “ego-deflation” and how it relates to self-esteem.

Within the confines of human psychology, self-esteem is of critical importance to mental health and an appropriate relationship to society in general. However, within the minds of those of us who have been touched by addictions, we tend to be “bi-polar” in the extremes of self-esteem. We go from having almost no respect for ourselves to, at the same time, being so egotistical that we feel that our way is the only way of living and it is the rest of the world that is “screwed up.”

I think ego-deflation is an important step but it needs to be handled carefully, because taken to the extreme — as it is in many Alcoholics Anonymous groups around the country — ego-deflation sets up a cycle of over-dependence on the A.A. group for the long term. This, I feel, is missing the point if our goal is to reach a level of stable sobriety. Stable sobriety, in my definition, is one that literally builds upon itself. In time, the goal should be to build a personal system of sobriety that isn’t answerable to the group, but is answerable to ourselves.

In many cases it seems that we are trading one addiction for another (Drugs & Alcohol for A.A.), and while I agree A.A. is a much safer alternative to drugs and alcohol, from a psychological viewpoint, it does almost nothing to produce “self-actualized,” autonomous, adults that can take care of themselves.

The goal, as I see it, is to reintegrate people who are trying to rebuild their lives back into society as a whole. So, if the individual is not open to the idea of God as a Higher Power, then maybe he or she will accept Society as a higher power (maybe a better way to define it would be “higher authority”).

The basis for ego-deflation, as I see it, is to admit to ourselves that our past way of going about this business of life led us to nothing but addictions and misery. In order to move forward at this stage of our lives, we have to admit and accept that we need to find a new way of doing things. If the client/sponsee cannot accept the spiritual side of the 12 Step Program, that is perfectly okay. All that needs to be accepted is that their old way of doing things did nothing but land them in rehab and/or A.A. and it is time for a fundamental change.

The one area in which 12 Step programs excel, is in the provision of a safe “transitional” society in which to belong. Whether you believe in the validity of the 12 Steps or not, the provision of a community in which to belong, is something that I cannot match in the one-on-one counseling environment. Having come from a history of addictions myself, I fully understand that the one thing I lacked more than anything else, was the necessary Social Skills needed to survive in modern society; the A.A. community provided a safe place to get used to being in a society again.

Something that we tend to forget is that the people who go to rehab and then to voluntarily to A.A., have already experienced ego-deflation and are looking for help in rebuilding their lives. But when we insist that they go through ego-deflation again, it is almost as if we are rubbing their noses in it and adding to an almost dangerous lack of self-esteem. I sometimes wonder how many relapses the recovery community is responsible for? Once we begin building self-esteem, self-respect will follow; once self-respect begins to grow, respect for others will follow naturally.

—

From ITR’s Addiction Magazine: http://www.intherooms.com/addiction/self…

Afternoon Affirmations

admin — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 21:11:44 +0000

Submitted by TheFix.com on August 12, 2011

From TheFix.com:

Sure there are recovery sites out there that will shoot you a “morning reflection” text or email but by the middle of the day, who’s to say you won’t be jonesing for a serious spiritual pick-me-up? That’s where Afternoon Affirmations, a creation of InTheRooms.com, shines. Every day at 1 P.M., this app sends you an affirmation with the intention to, its creators say, “calm the soul.” The content is a mixture of uplifting quotations and practical, grounding reminders designed to keep the perturbing aspects of life in perspective.

Platforms: iPhone, iPod touch

Click here to download: http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/afternoon…

Babylon Tattoo and Body Piercing

admin — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 21:03:36 +0000

Submitted by RT on August 12, 2011

One of Fort Lauderdale’s oldest and best-known shops that is dedicated to the Recovery community. Babylon Tattoo and Body Piercing has been providing its clients with top quality work for over ten years and has a Babylon Tattoo group here on ITR. They strive to maintain their reputation as a local favorite by producing bright, artistic tattoos in a safe and sterile setting.

“Our goal is to work with each client on a personal basis,” says owner Novi Filipovich, who has been a member of the recovery community for over fifteen years. “Every tattoo, no matter how small, deserves the upmost care and attention to detail.”

Novi has been clean since February of 1996. He cites NA and tattooing as the main factors in his recovery. “If it hadn’t been for art, I don’t think I would have been able to stay clean,” he says. “It gave me something to dedicate myself to, other than my addiction.”

Novi learned the art of tattooing in Switzerland, before relocating to Florida in 1997. After several years of working for others, he found himself dissatisfied with the attitude of many of South Florida’s local shops.

“A lot of artists seemed more interested in making a quick buck than giving their client both a great experience and a great tattoo,” he says. It was this factor that lead to his decision to open Babylon in 1999.

Babylon’s friendly, relaxed atmosphere has built them a loyal clientele, but customer service is not the only thing the staff prides themselves on. Each artist is skilled in a variety of styles, including portraiture, realism, traditional American and Japanese, lettering, new school, and tribal. There is also state certified body piercer, experienced in both standard and surface piercings.

“We’re like a family,” says Skot Olsen, a painter and tattoo artist who has worked at Babylon for two years, “We collaborate with each other on almost every tattoo. In the end, it’s all about sending our customers home with a piece they will love forever.”

Because of their support for those in recovery, Babylon is happy to offer a 20% discount on any tattoo or $10 off any piercing to clients who mention InTheRooms.com.

Babylon Tattoo and Body Piercing
831B N. Federal Hwy
Fort Lauderdale, FL 33304
(954) 523-3088
http://www.babylontattooshop.com